Brev

Astrup, Nikolai til Meyer, Hans Jacob
1927-09-22

Transkripsjon:

Tor Martin Leknes

Oversettelse:

Francesca Nichols

Side

  • 1,
  • 2,
  • 3,
  • 4,
  • 5
Transkripsjon
Oversettelse

Brev

Astrup, Nikolai til Meyer, Hans Jacob
1927-09-22
Brevs.295-66552, Nasjonalbiblioteket

5 sider

Transkripsjon: Tor Martin Leknes

Oversettelse: Francesca Nichols

Transkripsjon

       Kjære Hr. Meyer!

Tak for Deres breve! Straks, forinden jeg

havde modtaget Deres sidste brev, send-

te jeg en "quitering" til Hr. von Erpecom.

Jeg gjorde mig "ùmak" med at lave et

slags selvportrait – i pen – endskjönt

dette materiale jo mindst af alt egner

sig for "portrait", – da man jo vanskelig kan

ændre en feiltegnet strek, – jeg var jo ogsaa

"udav övelsen" med pennen. Imidlertid

syntes alle her, at det lignede mig godt.

Noget slags decorativ prydelse "blomster" e.t.c. i forbindelse

med portrait, – og da særlig selvportrait, –

fandt jeg vanskeligt, – og lavede derfor bare nog-

le gammeldagse manùskript krùsedùller, –

kanske "vel frit", – (og det finder kanske Hr. von

Erpecom ogsaa – og er misfornoiet mùligens? –,

i allefald har jeg intet hört ham). Kùnde De

faa vide hans mening i saa maade; vilde jeg

være Dem taknemlig – men ikke lad ham for-

staa, at jeg er nyssgjærrig efter at vide noget i

den retning, – han faar finde det bra eller daar-

ligt, – som han vil, – jeg har "gjort mit bedste". –

Rigtignok var jeg ùheldig med papiret: – Jeg for-

sögte först paa alm. skrivepapir (af samme

sort, som jeg skriver paa nù), men det gik

ikke, – saa fandt jeg ikke tegnepapir i hùset

og rev saa ud af en af börnenes tegneböker et

blad; – men det viste sig at "trække" enkelte

steder (formodentlig har der været raderet lidt

paa det med gùmmi-viskelær). –

                   

I Deres sidste brev nævnte De, at Deres

sön Hans-Jacob mùligens besökte os. –

Vi lavede istand – det lille hùs: – "Besta-stova",

for at han skùlde have det til sin dispo-

sition – (sammen med en eventuell jagtka-

merat); – men vi har forgjæves ventet ham

til denne tid. Er det vor feil, at vi ikke

straks skrev eller telegraferede, – saa er jeg

meget "lei" over det. – De maa da bede

ham meget ùndskylde, – men vi fik Deres

brev samtidig med, at han skulde været her

(De skrev: at han kom ca. "1ste sept." – og vi fik brevet 29de aùg. – eller

rettere först 31te, – da brevet havde ligget paa

posthùset ùafhentet. Vi er nù skamfulde

over, at vi ikke var saa snartænkte, at vi

telefonerede til Vasenden og forespùrgte om

han var kommen did. Men her var saa

mange baade af mine og min kones slegtninge

de dagene (det var min gebùrtsdag 30te aùg.), saa

sligt faldt os ikke ind – eller blev glemt. 

Det havde jo været saa hyggeligt, om han

var kommet, – og "jagt-retten", – ja i "Bjönn-

dalen" har jeg ingen ret, – ingen faar "slippe til"

der, – men omkring "Botnavatnet" i Ytre sandals-

dalen har jeg jo "jagtret" – saavel som de andre

opsiddere – men han vilde kanske fùndet

terrænet for magert der. – Hans-Jacob

forærede jo Kari en bùste, som han havde lavet

af hende; – den kan have sine mangler, – men

der er ogsaa meget godt i den. – Petra skræmte

en kveld Kari og tjenestepiken godt ved at

lægge den i Karis seng vel ompakket med klær,

saa det næsten saa ùd, som om der "laa lik"

i sengen. Ja, börn kan finde paa det rareste.

For et par dage siden blev mit atteliere paa

Myklebust revet ned, – jeg solgte det – (som mine

andre hùs derinde) for meget mindre, end det

havde kostet mig, – – jeg fandt desværre

ikke meget af "pennetegninger", og det jeg fandt

var saa "ramponeret", at det i allefald maa om-

tegnes paa nyt papir. Men jeg skal hùske paa

Dem, – som De har bedt om, – hvis jeg finder

mere eller faar omarbeidet noget af det, jeg har

seet blandt alt "rùsket". Nogle ting i slegt med

Deres tegning af "Kvernhuset" vil vel neppe interessere

Dem, – det er nærmest nogen stùdier af det samme

hùstak med "næverkanten" og "torvhalden" – (ùten hæggen).

Det var mine barndomserindringer: om bringe-

bærplùkning paa hùstaket, som for en del var

aarsak til disse stùdier. Romantikken fra barne-

aarene lever jo i ens sind, om man blir gam-

mel, – og det kan hænde, jeg famler mig til-

bake til motivet – igjen engang.

Ellers er jeg misfornöiet med mig selv, – saa

misfornöiet, at jeg kùnde helst have lyst at

hænge mig; – jeg er som den, der omtales i "skriften"

"som veed sin Herres vilje", – men dog stadig "gjör

det, som er hùgg værd". De sövnlöse nætter

paa grùnd af "sorg for timelig næring", – kan jo

ùndskylde mig lidt, – slikt gjör en jo "ùskik-

ket", – men det ùndskylder ikke ens mangel

paa energi. Jeg indbilder mig altid at have et 

"reserve-menneske" inden i mig – som saa gjerne vil

faa hjælpe mig og tage del i "kampen", – men, som jeg

aldrig tör "slippe til", – fordi jeg da blir rædd, –

at min sidste rest af menneskelighed – eller "om-

gjængelighed" vil forsvinde, – saa mine medmennesker

vil finde mig ùmùlig, – ja kanske endog faa mig

indespærret, – endskjönt jeg er normal "logiker" –

(noget, som jeg stadig kontrolerer ved at öve mig i de

sövnlöse nætter med mathematiske opgaver.). – Jeg

havde en kjær ven (Frost), som blev "gal"; – jeg var den eneste,

som ikke troede paa hans "galskab", – indtil jeg opdagede, at

hans hjerne slog feil i mathematikken. Ja, ùndskyld mine

"filosoferinger"! Hils familien! Med bedste hilsener

Deres hengivne Nikolai Astrùp

Konvolutt, framside:

Hr. Capt. H. J. Meyer

  Vetrlids-almenning 27

Bergen

Oversettelse

       Dear Mr. Meyer!

Thank You for Your letter! Immediately before I

received Your last letter, I sent

a "receipt" to Mr. von Erpecom.

I did my "utmost" in making a

kind of self-portrait – in pen – although

this medium is least-suited

for "portraiture", – as one can hardly

alter an incorrectly drawn line, – I was moreover

"out of practice" with the pen. On the other

hand everyone here thought that it was a good resemblance.

Any form of decorative embellishment "flowers", etc. in connection

with portraiture, – and especially a self-portrait, –

I found problematic, – and therefore simply made some

old-fashioned manuscript curlicues, – 

perhaps "a bit freely", – (and perhaps Mr. von

Erpecom thinks so as well – and is perhaps dissatisfied? –,

at least I have not heard anything from him). If

You could find out his opinion in that regard; I would

be grateful to You – but do not let him under-

stand, that I am curious to find out about

it, – he must be allowed to find it well done or 

poor, – as he wishes, – I have "done my best". –

Admittedly I was unfortunate with the paper: – I at- 

tempted first on common writing paper (of the same

type that I am writing on now), but it did

not work, – and then I could not find drawing paper in the house

and I therefore tore out a sheet from one of the children’s drawing

books; – but it turned out that it "bled" in certain

places (presumably it had been scraped a little

with a rubber eraser). –

In Your last letter You wrote, that Your

son Hans-Jacob might visit us. –

We prepared – the little cottage: – "Grandmother’s House", 

so that he might have it at his dispo-

sal – (together with a possible hunting

mate); – but we have waited in vain for him

until now. If it is our fault, that we did not

immediately write or telegraph, – then I am

very "sorry" about that. – You must ask

him to forgive us, – but we received Your

letter at the same time that he was supposed to be here

(You wrote: that he would arrive around "1 Sept." – and we received the letter 29th Aug. – or

rather not before the 31st, – as the letter had remained at the

post office unclaimed. We are now ashamed

that we were not quick-witted enough to 

telephone to Vasenden and enquire if

he had arrived there. But there were so 

many relatives here both my own and my wife’s

at the time (it was my birthday on the 30th of Aug.), so

it didn’t occur to us – or was forgotten. 

It would have been so nice, if he

had come, – and a "hunting licence", – well in "Bjönn-

dalen" no one is permitted, – no one "is allowed to"

there, – but in the vicinity of "Botnavatnet" in Ytre Sandals-

dalen I have "the right to hunt" – just like the other

tenants– but he might perhaps find

the terrain too meagre there. – Hans-Jacob

had given Kari a bust, which he had made

of her; – it might be lacking in some ways, – but

there is also a lot that is good in it. – Petra frightened

Kari and the maid one evening by

placing it in Kari’s bed wrapped in clothing,

so that it almost looked as though it was "lying in state"

in the bed. Well, children can do the strangest things.

A few days ago my studio at

Myklebust was torn down, – I sold it – (as I did my

other cabins over there) for much less than it

had cost me, – – unfortunately I did not

find many "pen drawings", and what I did find

was so "damaged", that it must in any event

be drawn [over] on new paper. But I will remember

You, – as You have asked, – if I find

more or manage to redo something of what I have

seen amidst all the "debris". Something similar to

Your drawing of "the Millhouse" will hardly interest

You, – it is only some studies of the same

roof with the "birch bark edge" and the "turf log" – (without the bird cherry).

My childhood memories: about rasp-

berry picking on the rooftop, were partially

the reason for these studies. Nostalgia from child- 

hood years lives on in one’s mind, if one becomes

old, – and who knows, I might stumble ba-

ck on this motif – again some time.

In other respects I am dissatisfied with myself, – so

dissatisfied, that I might even wish to

hang myself; – I am like the one, who is mentioned in "the scriptures"

"who knew his Lord’s will", – and yet continually "does

things, which deserve lashes". The sleepless nights

caused by "worldly financial sorrows", – might

absolve me a little, – this makes one "un-

fit", – but it does not excuse one’s lack

of energy. I always imagine that I have a 

"reserve person" inside of me – who would very gladly

help me and take part in the "struggle", – yet, whom I

never dare "release", – because I would then be afraid, –

that my last traces of humanity – or "socia-

bility" will disappear, – so that my fellow human beings

will find me to be impossible, – yes and perhaps even have me

locked up, – even though I am normally "rational" –

(something that I continuously test by repeating mathematical

problems during sleepless nights.). – I

had a dear friend (Frost), who became "insane"; – I was the only one,

who did not believe in his "insanity", – until I discovered, that

his brain failed in maths. Well, forgive my

"philosophising"! Greetings to the family! With best wishes

Your devoted Nikolai Astrùp

Envelope, front:

Capt. H. J. Meyer

  Vetrlids-almenning 27

Bergen