My childhood memories: about rasp-

berry picking on the rooftop, were partially

the reason for these studies. Nostalgia from child-

hood years lives on in one’s mind, if one becomes

old, – and who knows, I might stumble ba-

ck on this motif – again some time.

In other respects I am dissatisfied with myself, – so

dissatisfied, that I might even wish to

hang myself; – I am like the one, who is mentioned in "the scriptures"

"who knew his Lord’s will", – and yet continually "does

things, which deserve lashes". The sleepless nights

caused by "worldly financial sorrows", – might

absolve me a little, – this makes one "un-

fit", – but it does not excuse one’s lack

of energy. I always imagine that I have a

"reserve person" inside of me – who would very gladly

help me and take part in the "struggle", – yet, whom I

never dare "release", – because I would then be afraid, –

that my last traces of humanity – or "socia-

bility" will disappear, – so that my fellow human beings

will find me to be impossible, – yes and perhaps even have me

locked up, – even though I am normally "rational" –

(something that I continuously test by repeating mathematical

problems during sleepless nights.). – I

had a dear friend (Frost), who became "insane"; – I was the only one,

who did not believe in his "insanity", – until I discovered, that

his brain failed in maths. Well, forgive my

"philosophising"! Greetings to the family! With best wishes

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