Brev
6 sider
Transkripsjon: Tor Martin Leknes
Oversettelse: Francesca Nichols
Transkripsjon
Kjære frù Höst!
Jeg har længe havt stor trang til at skrive til Dem, – men
jeg har været saa elendig syg, at jeg intet har magtet –
Ja denne forbandede bronkitten, – jeg synes synd i Dem,
at De ogsaa skal plages af den, – jeg har faaet föle
den saavidt ordentlig nù i vinter – at jeg veed intet bedre
at önske menneskeheden, end at denne sygdom maatte
forsvinde af jorden. Denne infernalske sygdom drager frem
igjen alle de onder, man tidligere har lidt af, – i allefald
er det gaaet saa med mig: – som barn gik jeg bestandig med
bronkit, men siden 13-14 aars alderen, har jeg ikke mærket den
för nù for 2 aar siden, da den tog mig igjen, jeg har flere gange
havt lùngebetændelse og fik derefter lùngekathar og saa
denne pinefulde asthma og en elendig mave, men bron-
kitten er dog værre end alt det andet i sin seighed – og den
lader ogsaa fornemmelserne fra alle disse andre onder pa-
sere revùe, – særlig har den slaaet sig i lag med asthmaen, og disse
to i forening har nù hver nat siden juldedagene pint mig, saa jeg 2
gange har været mere död end levende, – saa at Engel har
troet, at jeg blev kvalt, da jeg blev blaa af luftmangel, – dertil
kommer stadige sting, som skriver sig fra de ömme pùnkter efter
lungekatharen. Da jeg kom hjem fra Bergen, fik jeg et
frygteligt veir paa reisen – det er vel aarsagen til, at
bronkitten nù blev saa slem; – det var slemt paa
dampen, som var overfyldt saa jeg ikke kunde pùste neden-
ùnder i den opbrugte luft, – jeg sad om natten paa dækket
og sov i 20° graders kùlde, – det blev selvfölgelig begyndelsen
til forkjölelsen, – men værre blev det opover fra Förde,
da der, til den for vestlandet skjeldne kùlde, ogsaa slog
sig snestorm af nord, saa at hesten havde vanskelig for at
komme sig frem gjennem sneskavlerne, – veien kunde vi
mange steder ikke se, – forresten kunde vi næsten ikke
se noget; thi stormen pakket öinene fulde af sne,
saa at vi stadig maatte rive "sjæl fra vore öine" – værst
blev det dog opover langs Jölstervandet, – hvor nordenvinden
piskede sjöraaket fra vandet over os, saa vi blev isbelagte
Vi brugte elleve timer fra Förde og hjem, – saa De kan tænke
Dem, hvad tilstand vi var i; – min nabo, som er 80 aar, siger
at han ikke mindes et sligt veir med samtidig saa stor kul-
de og storm; – Vi blev da ogsaa syge, baade min tjenestedreng
og jeg, efter den Tùren, – og nù ser det ud, som om denne bron-
kitten ikke mere vil slippe mig. – Jeg faar hver uge hele
ladninger medicin snart fra et og snart fra et andet apothek
– De som har været farmaceut, og som selv har lidt
af denne bronkitten, – kjender De ikke noget middel? – ja
ùndskyld, at jeg er saa næsevis, – men jeg har i fortvivlelse
skrevet baade til den ene og anden læge, og prövet en
masse mediciner – det meste af det, jeg har faaet er
timian oplösninger i hostesirup, – og saa har jeg faaet
jodoform og chloroform at gnide ind ryg og bryst med – det
döver nok smerte – men bedöver hostemùsklerne, eller hvad jeg
skal kalde det, saa at aandenöden faar magt over mig,
mig – uden at jeg kan sætte mig til modværge ved at hoste.
Kreosotol har hjùlpet lidt stundom; – jodnatrium og
jodkaliùm kan jeg ikke ùndvære, men det er, som om
disse mediciner virker mindre nù end för –
Ja det er en pine, – og jeg blir saa træt – og saa denne elendige
rasling og pibing for brystet, – det er som et kor af gamle
gùdelige kjærringer i et "bönemöte", som gùdsjam-
merlige falske salmetoner, der klager ynkelig ligesom
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jeg selv gjör nù i dette brev, som jeg plager Dem med.
Skriften er vist ogsaa ùlæselig, thi gigten raser i denne
elendige kroppen min, som jeg jo ikke altid har været
saa forsigtig med, – jeg har nemlig ofte en ren satanisk
lyst til at lade den lide ondt med tùngt arbeide, væde
og kùlde – til gjengjæld for al den pine, den har voldt mig, –
jeg indbilder mig, at det er en slags selvopholdelses drift – for
at jeg ikke skal föle mig rent i dens vold.
Der gaar forresten megen sygdom i bygden – folk her er ikke vant
med den östlandske kulde, som vi har havt i vinter, – kùlden
her er ogsaa værre, da den samtidig er fugtig. Engel er ogsaa
daarlig af bronkit – og flere andre her ligesaa.
Jeg saa af aviserne, at Skredsvig var haardt angreben av bronkit,
og at han af den grund var reist til syden – lykkelige mand,
som har raad til det.
Jeg lider af spyttende selvforagt fortiden; – jeg tænkte saa
stort för jùl, – var begyndt at komme ind i malingen
igjen, – vilde faa istand udstilling til vaaren, – söge statens
stipendiùm, – reise til syden; – jo tak – jeg fik betalt
lidt paa gjæld af pengene for St. Hansbilledet, – resten
har jeg snart brugt op i medicin – og lige graat er det at se
ind i fremtiden; – stakkars Engel – for hende er det vist end-
nù graaere – hùn finder liden tröst i asùrancerne, om jeg
skulde bùkke ùnder, – hùn er i omstændigheder og det gjör
ikke sagen lettere. – Kari og Arnold er friske omend
noget forkjölede – de er saa kaade og ustyrlige, at det er
omtrent ùmùligt at holde dem fra at springe halvnögne
ùd i kulden om morgenen, – men nù har vi endelig
faaet solen igjen efter 4 maaneders fravær, – og det
giver jo ligesom straks haab. –
Nei nù har jeg plaget Dem længe nok med mine egne
ting. Det var disse træsnit som jeg sender idag. De nævnte
at jeg skùlde sende 3 "Martzstemninger", som De havde kjöber
til – skylder jeg ikke Inger et saadant – jeg trykte bare i
blaat, – skal der være et grönligt, skal jeg trykke igjen,
naar jeg faar brev fra Dem derom. Saa skylder jeg vistnok
Dem et blaat tryk af "Stort fjeld" – jeg sender derfor et,
om De liker det, – hvis ikke, saa sig bare og bemærk,
hvad De önsker anderledes – (jeg er saa daarlig, at jeg kan
ikke rigtig bedömme nogen af disse trykkene). Saa var det
"Soleier", som jeg nù saa længe har skullet lave Dem et tryk
af, – men som De har solgt for mig igjen hver gang – denne
gang sender jeg to, for at De kan vælge; – det, som jeg synes
bedst om selv, har jeg mærket med et lidet 1 tal nede i hjör-
net til höire paa kartonen; – men De kan jo tage, hvad De sy-
nes; No 2 (mærket paa samme sted) ligner vel mere Korsvolds
(han har foresten solgt sit); men jeg synes natstemningen er bedre
i nr. 1, som ogsaa er penere trykt – det er jo vanskelig sam-
tidig at faa et pent tryk og faa stemningen god, – for exempel
det, jeg sender af "Stort fjeld" synes jeg har en god natstemning –
i saa maade kanske det bedste jeg har trykt, men det er ikke pent trykt
rigtig. Saa sender jeg et "kornstaur" i stedenfor det, som blev solgt
i Bergen, – men nù er de andre brændt, saa jeg maa vel da trykke
nye af dem, – hvilke var det? De var jo bestilte? Saa sender
jeg, som De ser en del nye tryk, om De har interesse af at
have et exempl. af dem; – men udstil dem ikke! "fiskeren" kanske kan ùdstilles? – Det
er, som De siger, <der> er et sterkt "koteri" der i kùnstner-
forbùndet, og jeg er paa det "sorte bret" for tiden. Endog
Jappe Nilsen (min "opdager") rakker mig jo ned, – man maa
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være svoger af Jan Heiberg eller i allefald nær slegtning,
hvis man skal vise sig der – han er jo "vorherre" for tiden.
Jeg har aldrig kunnet forstaa ham – mig virker
han paa som "keiserens nye klær", og det var jeg
uforsigtig nok at udtale for frk. Kamstrup og et par
af de andre ùnge malere. Da synes jeg den ùnge Revold
er en ganske anden personlighed, – men det kan hænde,
det er min "forstaaelse", som mangler, – men hvad det
skal tjene til alle disse skjæve krùkker, potter, flasker
vaser og andre skjæve kar? – Cezanne har opnaaet
vidùnderlige ting ved sine skjæve vaser og flasker, der for-
melig staar og fortæller hinanden historier, – men hvad
fortjeneste der er i at kopiere sligt, forstaar jeg ikke –
hans (Heibergs) farver er dekorative – det er alt jeg kan for-
staa – og det er alt jeg forstaar nù –, hans badende gùtter
er jo rivende galt perspectivisk, uden at han dermed har
opnaaet noget, tvertimod er kompositionen elendig slet selv
fra et begynder standpùnkt seet, – saa at billedet for-
melig dætter i stykker. Dekorative farver kan jo enhver
malersvend lære i vore dage; – men Heiberg er vistnok alt
en mægtig mand, – de böier sig jo ùnder ham uden at
kny næsten alle sammen – og er glade for at faa
lov at klippe sine klær efter hans snit, – nù ja
han er jo elev af den store Matisse, saa han maa
vel have noget at fare med selv om det er laante
klær. Ja jeg bùrde jo helst beholde sligt for
mig selv, men jeg haaber, De lader det gaa ind det
ene og ud det andet öre; – nævn altsaa ikke til
nogen, hvad jeg har sagt om Heiberg, – jeg har jo seet baade
Matisses billeder – og de kan jeg forstaa, – jeg har seet
hans elvers billeder, – alle hans unge tyske elever og
vi har jo Sörensen – og Revold, – og alle disse kan jeg
forstaa og glæde mig over, – men Heiberg – ikke –
han bare ærgrer mig – og jeg kan nù saa <levende>
forstaa publikùms ærgrelse, naar de hörer os malere
ros rose kùnstværker, som de selv ikke kan
forstaa pluk af – men jeg synes, jeg burde forstaa det;
thi jeg har jo baade seet kùbister og futorister, – men
Jan Heiberg gaar jo ikke saa vidt som disse. Jeg
har ofte vanskelig for helt ùd at forstaa Peder Deberitz,
men hvad jeg ikke forstaar – det ahner jeg hos ham – og
har derfor glæden – jeg begriber ikke at Sohlberg ikke
kan forstaa Sörensen – de er jo rigtignok rene kontraster, –
det maa være saa med Jan Heiberg og mig; – da kan jeg
bedre forstaa Ørnùlv Salichat; – men hos ham forstaar
jeg ogsaa hùmbugen, som han ikke altid er fri for, men
han har ogsaa ting, som har virkelig glædet mig.
Jeg synes ikke engang at Heiberg er god artist – til trods
for at han bruger alle tænkelige artistiske midler, som
har været brugt för, – det aabne lærred i flekker og
med kontourer; – men (saa synes det mig) ùden nogen
hensigt eller indre fölelse af – hvorfor.
Ja saa vil jeg da rigtig haabe, at De maa være
bedre end jeg, og at De maa blive fri den slemme
bronkitten – vær endelig forsigtig; – thi den vil saa let kom-
me igjen og kommer den 2 gange igjen, saa blir man vist
aldrig fri den, – saa er det vist gaaet med mig og Engel.
Engel beder mig hilse Dem hjærteligt. Hils Deres mand
hjærteligst fra Deres hengivne
Oversettelse
Dear Mrs. Höst!
I have for a long time had the urge to write You, – but
I have been so wretchedly ill, that I have not had the strength to do anything –
It’s this cursed bronchitis, – I feel sorry for You,
that You too are afflicted by it, – I have felt
it sufficiently enough this winter – that I cannot help but
wish for humanity, that this illness should
vanish from the earth. This infernal illness draws out
anew all the ailments, one has suffered previously, – at least
that is what happened to me: – as a child I was constantly ill
with bronchitis, but since the age of 13-14, I had not noticed it
until 2 years ago, when it struck me again, I have several times
had pneumonia and later catarrh of the lungs and then
this torturous asthma and a wretched stomach, but the bron-
chitis is nonetheless worse than all the rest in its tenacity – and it
also causes the symptoms from all these other ailments to
pass in <review>, – it has joined forces in particular with the asthma, and these
two combined have every night since the Christmas holidays tortured me so, that on 2
occasions I have been more dead than alive, – so that Engel
believed, that I had been strangulated, when I turned blue from lack of oxygen, – added
to that is a recurring stabbing pain, that results from the sore points left by
the catarrh of the lungs. When I returned home from Bergen, I experienced
terrible weather along the way – that is probably the reason, why
the bronchitis recently became so acute; – it was terrible on
the steamship, which was so overcrowded, that I could not breath below
deck in the stuffy air, – I sat on deck at night
and slept in 20° below temperatures, – that was of course the beginning
of the cold, – but it became worse on the way up from Förde,
as, in addition to uncommon cold for being West Norway, a
snowstorm struck from the north, so that the horse had difficulty in
making its way through the snowdrifts, – we could not see
the road in many places, – in fact we could hardly see
anything; for the storm packed our eyes full of snow,
so that we constantly had to "tear the scales from our eyes" – but worst
of all was the ascent along Jölstervandet, – where the northerly wind
whipped the spray from the waves over us, so that we became covered in ice
We spent eleven hours from Förde and home, – so You can imagine
what condition we were in; – my neighbour, who is 80 years old, claims
he cannot remember such weather with simultaneous frigid
temperatures and storm; – So we became ill, both my farmhand
and myself, after that Trip, – and now it looks as though this bron-
chitis will not let go of me. – Every week I receive whole
piles of medicine now from one now from another pharmacy
– You who have been a pharmacist, and who have Yourself suffered
from this bronchitis, – do You not know of any remedy? – well
forgive me for being so impudent, – but I have in desperation
written to both one doctor and the next, and tried out
lots of medications – most of what I have received are
thyme infusions in cough syrup, – and then I have received
iodoform and chloroform to rub on the back and chest – it
soothes the pain perhaps – but numbs the coughing muscles, or whatever
I shall call it, so that when the gasping overtakes me
me – I am not able to resist it by coughing.
Creosotal has helped a bit sometimes; – sodium iodide and
potassium nitrate I cannot do without, but it seems as though
these medications have less effect now than before –
Well it is torture, – and I become so exhausted – and then this terrible
rattling and wheezing in the chest, – it is like a choir of
pious old women at a "prayer meeting", like God-awful
grating psalms, that complain pitifully as
II
I myself am doing now in this letter, which I am bothering You with.
The writing is evidently illegible as well, for the arthritis rages in this
miserable body of mine, which I haven’t always been
so cautious with, – for I often have a positively satanic
desire to let it suffer pain through heavy work, moisture
and cold – in return for all the suffering it has caused me, –
I imagine, that it is a kind of self-preservation instinct – in order
that I shall not feel totally at its mercy.
By the way there is a lot of illness in the village – people here are not accustomed
to the cold typical of Eastern Norway, that we have had this winter, – the cold
here is also worse, as it is simultaneously humid. Engel is also
ill with bronchitis – and many others here as well.
I saw in the newspapers, that Skredsvig was struck with severe bronchitis,
and that he has travelled south for that reason – fortunate man,
who can afford it.
I suffer from bitter self-loathing at present; – I had
great plans before Christmas, – had begun to get into painting
again, – wanted to organise an exhibition for the spring, – apply for the government
stipend, – travel south; – yes thank you – I was able to pay
some debts with the money from the Midsummer picture, – the rest
I have soon consumed in medications – and the prospects for the future
are just as dismal; – poor Engel – for her it is even
more dismal – she finds little comfort in the insurances, if I
should pass away, – she is expecting and that does
not make things easier. – Kari and Arnold are in good health though
with slight colds – they are so boisterous an unruly, that it is
nearly impossible to keep them from running half-naked
out into the cold in the morning, – but now we finally
have the sun back after 4 months’ absence, – and it
somehow brings immediate hope. –
Well now I have troubled You long enough with my own
matters. It’s about these woodcuts that I am sending today. You mentioned
that I should send 3 "March Atmospheres", which You had buyers
for – don’t I owe Inger one of these – I printed only in
blue, – should there be need of one in a green tone, I will print more,
when I receive a letter from You on that point. And then I evidently owe
You a blue print of "Large Mountain" – I will therefore send one,
if You like it, – if not, then just say so and note,
what You desire instead – (I am feeling so poorly, that I can-
not properly judge any of these prints). Then there is
"Marigolds", that I have for so long been meaning to make You a print
of, – but which You have sold further for me each time – this
time I am sending two, so that You can choose; the one that I like
most myself, I have marked with a little numeral 1 in the bottom right
corner on the illustration board; – but You can take what You pre-
fer; No 2 (marked in the same place) is more like Korsvold’s
(he has sold his by the way); but I think the nocturnal atmosphere is better
in no. 1, which is also printed more neatly – it is difficult to simul-
taneously achieve a neat print and a good atmosphere, – for example
what I am sending of "Large Mountain" I think has a good nocturnal atmosphere
in that respect perhaps the best I have printed, but it is not printed very
neatly. So I am sending a "Stook" instead of the one that was sold
in Bergen, – but now the others have been burned, so I suppose I will have to print
new versions of them, – which ones were they? Weren’t they ordered? Then I am
sending, as You see a few new prints, in case You are interested in
having a copy of them; – but do not exhibit them! "the Fisherman" might perhaps be exhibited? – There
is, as You mention, <there> is a strong "cabal" there in the art
association, I am currently on the "black list". Even
Jappe Nilsen (my "discoverer") speaks ill of me, – one has to
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be a brother-in-law of Jan Heiberg or at least a close relative,
if one wishes to show one’s face there – he is evidently "our lord and provider" at the moment.
I have never been able to understand him – to me
he seems like "the emperor’s new clothing", and I was
careless enough to express this to Miss Kamstrup and a few
of the other young painters. In comparison I think the young Revold
has a very different personality, – but perhaps,
it is my "understanding", that is lacking, – but what purpose
do they serve all these crooked jars, pots, bottles
vases and other distorted vessels? – Cezanne has achieved
wonderful things with distorted vases and bottles, they veri-
ly stand there telling each other stories, – but what
benefit there is in copying such things, I do not understand –
his (Heiberg’s) colours are decorative – that’s as far as I can under-
stand – and that’s all I can understand now –, his bathing boys
are utterly inaccurate with regard to perspective, without his having
achieved anything by it, on the contrary the composition is terribly mediocre even
seen from at beginner’s standpoint, – so that the picture veri-
ly falls apart. Decorative colours can be learned by any jour-
neyman painter in our day; – but Heiberg is evidently a
powerful figure by now, – for they bow before him without a
murmur virtually every one of them – and are happy to be
allowed to cut their clothes from his pattern, – well it’s true
he is a student of the great Matisse, so he may
perhaps have something to offer despite being borrowed
clothes. Well I should perhaps keep such thoughts to
myself, but I hope, that You allow it to go in
one ear and out the other; – not mention to
anyone, what I have said about Heiberg, – I have seen both
Matisse’s pictures – and these I can understand, – and
his students’ pictures, – all his young German students and
we have Sörensen here – and Revold, – and all of these I can
understand and delight in, – but Heiberg – no –
he only aggravates me – and I can now quite <vividly>
understand the public’s aggravation, when they hear us painters
pra praise works of art, which they themselves can make
neither head nor tail of – but I feel, that I should understand it;
after all I have seen both cubists and futurists, – but
Jan Heiberg does not go as far as them. I
often have difficulty in fully understanding Peder Deberitz,
but what I do not understand – in his work I have an inkling of – and
can therefore find pleasure in – I cannot fathom why Sohlberg can-
not understand Sörensen – they are admittedly pure contrasts, –
this must be the case with Jan Heiberg and me; – then I can
better understand Ørnùlv Salichat; – but in his work I also
perceive the humbug, which he is not always devoid of, but
he also has things, which have greatly pleased me.
I do not think Heiberg is a good artist – even though
he employs all manner of artistic means, which
have been used before, – the bare canvas with dabs and
with contours; – but (it appears to me) without any
purpose or inner sense of – why.
Well I do truly hope, that You are
in better shape than me, and that You will soon be free of the nasty
bronchitis – please be careful, – for it can so easily re-
turn and if it returns a 2nd time, then one will evidently
never be free of it, – that seems to have occurred with me and Engel.
Engel sends You here warmest greetings. Sincerest greetings to Your husband
from Your devoted