Brev

Astrup, Nikolai til Høst, Isabella
1916-03

Transkripsjon:

Tor Martin Leknes

Oversettelse:

Francesca Nichols

Side

  • 1,
  • 2,
  • 3,
  • 4,
  • 5,
  • 6
Transkripsjon
Oversettelse
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Brev

Astrup, Nikolai til Høst, Isabella
1916-03
Brevs.531-66462, Nasjonalbiblioteket

6 sider

Transkripsjon: Tor Martin Leknes

Oversettelse: Francesca Nichols

Transkripsjon

Kjære frù Höst!

Jeg har længe havt stor trang til at skrive til Dem, – men

jeg har været saa elendig syg, at jeg intet har magtet –

    Ja denne forbandede bronkitten, – jeg synes synd i Dem,

at De ogsaa skal plages af den, – jeg har faaet föle

den saavidt ordentlig nù i vinter – at jeg veed intet bedre

at önske menneskeheden, end at denne sygdom maatte

forsvinde af jorden. Denne infernalske sygdom drager frem

igjen alle de onder, man tidligere har lidt af, – i allefald

er det gaaet saa med mig: – som barn gik jeg bestandig med

bronkit, men siden 13-14 aars alderen, har jeg ikke mærket den

för nù for 2 aar siden, da den tog mig igjen, jeg har flere gange

havt lùngebetændelse og fik derefter lùngekathar og saa

denne pinefulde asthma og en elendig mave, men bron-

kitten er dog værre end alt det andet i sin seighed – og den

lader ogsaa fornemmelserne fra alle disse andre onder pa-

sere revùe, – særlig har den slaaet sig i lag med asthmaen, og disse

to i forening har nù hver nat siden juldedagene pint mig, saa jeg 2

gange har været mere död end levende, – saa at Engel har

troet, at jeg blev kvalt, da jeg blev blaa af luftmangel, – dertil

kommer stadige sting, som skriver sig fra de ömme pùnkter efter

lungekatharen. Da jeg kom hjem fra Bergen, fik jeg et

frygteligt veir paa reisen – det er vel aarsagen til, at

bronkitten nù blev saa slem; – det var slemt paa

dampen, som var overfyldt saa jeg ikke kunde pùste neden-

ùnder i den opbrugte luft, – jeg sad om natten paa dækket

og sov i 20° graders kùlde, – det blev selvfölgelig begyndelsen

til forkjölelsen, – men værre blev det opover fra Förde,

da der, til den for vestlandet skjeldne kùlde, ogsaa slog

sig snestorm af nord, saa at hesten havde vanskelig for at

komme sig frem gjennem sneskavlerne, – veien kunde vi

mange steder ikke se, – forresten kunde vi næsten ikke

se noget; thi stormen pakket öinene fulde af sne,

saa at vi stadig maatte rive "sjæl fra vore öine" – værst

blev det dog opover langs Jölstervandet, – hvor nordenvinden

piskede sjöraaket fra vandet over os, saa vi blev isbelagte

Vi brugte elleve timer fra Förde og hjem, – saa De kan tænke

Dem, hvad tilstand vi var i; – min nabo, som er 80 aar, siger

at han ikke mindes et sligt veir med samtidig saa stor kul-

de og storm; – Vi blev da ogsaa syge, baade min tjenestedreng

og jeg, efter den Tùren, – og nù ser det ud, som om denne bron-

kitten ikke mere vil slippe mig. – Jeg faar hver uge hele

ladninger medicin snart fra et og snart fra et andet apothek

– De som har været farmaceut, og som selv har lidt

af denne bronkitten, – kjender De ikke noget middel? – ja

ùndskyld, at jeg er saa næsevis, – men jeg har i fortvivlelse

skrevet baade til den ene og anden læge, og prövet en

masse mediciner – det meste af det, jeg har faaet er

timian oplösninger i hostesirup, – og saa har jeg faaet

jodoform og chloroform at gnide ind ryg og bryst med – det

döver nok smerte – men bedöver hostemùsklerne, eller hvad jeg

skal kalde det, saa at aandenöden faar magt over mig,

mig – uden at jeg kan sætte mig til modværge ved at hoste.

Kreosotol har hjùlpet lidt stundom; – jodnatrium og

jodkaliùm kan jeg ikke ùndvære, men det er, som om

disse mediciner virker mindre nù end för –

Ja det er en pine, – og jeg blir saa træt – og saa denne elendige

rasling og pibing for brystet, – det er som et kor af gamle

gùdelige kjærringer i et "bönemöte", som gùdsjam-

merlige falske salmetoner, der klager ynkelig ligesom

                              II

jeg selv gjör nù i dette brev, som jeg plager Dem med.

Skriften er vist ogsaa ùlæselig, thi gigten raser i denne

elendige kroppen min, som jeg jo ikke altid har været

saa forsigtig med, – jeg har nemlig ofte en ren satanisk

lyst til at lade den lide ondt med tùngt arbeide, væde

og kùlde – til gjengjæld for al den pine, den har voldt mig, –

jeg indbilder mig, at det er en slags selvopholdelses drift – for

at jeg ikke skal föle mig rent i dens vold. 

Der gaar forresten megen sygdom i bygden – folk her er ikke vant

med den östlandske kulde, som vi har havt i vinter, – kùlden

her er ogsaa værre, da den samtidig er fugtig. Engel er ogsaa

daarlig af bronkit – og flere andre her ligesaa.

Jeg saa af aviserne, at Skredsvig var haardt angreben av bronkit,

og at han af den grund var reist til syden – lykkelige mand,

som har raad til det.

Jeg lider af spyttende selvforagt fortiden; – jeg tænkte saa

stort för jùl, – var begyndt at komme ind i malingen

igjen, – vilde faa istand udstilling til vaaren, – söge statens

stipendiùm, – reise til syden; – jo tak – jeg fik betalt

lidt paa gjæld af pengene for St. Hansbilledet, – resten

har jeg snart brugt op i medicin – og lige graat er det at se

ind i fremtiden; – stakkars Engel – for hende er det vist end-

nù graaere – hùn finder liden tröst i asùrancerne, om jeg

skulde bùkke ùnder, – hùn er i omstændigheder og det gjör

ikke sagen lettere. – Kari og Arnold er friske omend

noget forkjölede – de er saa kaade og ustyrlige, at det er

omtrent ùmùligt at holde dem fra at springe halvnögne

ùd i kulden om morgenen, – men nù har vi endelig

faaet solen igjen efter 4 maaneders fravær, – og det

giver jo ligesom straks haab. –

Nei nù har jeg plaget Dem længe nok med mine egne

ting. Det var disse træsnit som jeg sender idag. De nævnte

at jeg skùlde sende 3 "Martzstemninger", som De havde kjöber

til – skylder jeg ikke Inger et saadant – jeg trykte bare i

blaat, – skal der være et grönligt, skal jeg trykke igjen,

naar jeg faar brev fra Dem derom. Saa skylder jeg vistnok

Dem et blaat tryk af "Stort fjeld" – jeg sender derfor et,

om De liker det, – hvis ikke, saa sig bare og bemærk,

hvad De önsker anderledes – (jeg er saa daarlig, at jeg kan

ikke rigtig bedömme nogen af disse trykkene). Saa var det

"Soleier", som jeg nù saa længe har skullet lave Dem et tryk

af, – men som De har solgt for mig igjen hver gang – denne

gang sender jeg to, for at De kan vælge; – det, som jeg synes

bedst om selv, har jeg mærket med et lidet 1 tal nede i hjör-

net til höire paa kartonen; – men De kan jo tage, hvad De sy-

nes; No 2 (mærket paa samme sted) ligner vel mere Korsvolds

(han har foresten solgt sit); men jeg synes natstemningen er bedre

i nr. 1, som ogsaa er penere trykt – det er jo vanskelig sam-

tidig at faa et pent tryk og faa stemningen god, – for exempel

det, jeg sender af "Stort fjeld" synes jeg har en god natstemning –

i saa maade kanske det bedste jeg har trykt, men det er ikke pent trykt

rigtig. Saa sender jeg et "kornstaur" i stedenfor det, som blev solgt

i Bergen, – men nù er de andre brændt, saa jeg maa vel da trykke

nye af dem, – hvilke var det? De var jo bestilte? Saa sender

jeg, som De ser en del nye tryk, om De har interesse af at

have et exempl. af dem; – men udstil dem ikke! "fiskeren" kanske kan ùdstilles? – Det

er, som De siger, <der> er et sterkt "koteri" der i kùnstner-

forbùndet, og jeg er paa det "sorte bret" for tiden. Endog

Jappe Nilsen (min "opdager") rakker mig jo ned, – man maa

III

være svoger af Jan Heiberg eller i allefald nær slegtning,

hvis man skal vise sig der – han er jo "vorherre" for tiden.

Jeg har aldrig kunnet forstaa ham – mig virker

han paa som "keiserens nye klær", og det var jeg

uforsigtig nok at udtale for frk. Kamstrup og et par

af de andre ùnge malere. Da synes jeg den ùnge Revold

er en ganske anden personlighed, – men det kan hænde,

det er min "forstaaelse", som mangler, – men hvad det

skal tjene til alle disse skjæve krùkker, potter, flasker

vaser og andre skjæve kar? – Cezanne har opnaaet

vidùnderlige ting ved sine skjæve vaser og flasker, der for-

melig staar og fortæller hinanden historier, – men hvad

fortjeneste der er i at kopiere sligt, forstaar jeg ikke –

hans (Heibergs) farver er dekorative – det er alt jeg kan for-

staa – og det er alt jeg forstaar –, hans badende gùtter

er jo rivende galt perspectivisk, uden at han dermed har

opnaaet noget, tvertimod er kompositionen elendig slet selv

fra et begynder standpùnkt seet, – saa at billedet for-

melig dætter i stykker. Dekorative farver kan jo enhver

malersvend lære i vore dage; – men Heiberg er vistnok alt

en mægtig mand, – de böier sig jo ùnder ham uden at

kny næsten alle sammen – og er glade for at faa

lov at klippe sine klær efter hans snit, – nù ja

han er jo elev af den store Matisse, saa han maa

vel have noget at fare med selv om det er laante

klær. Ja jeg bùrde jo helst beholde sligt for

mig selv, men jeg haaber, De lader det gaa ind det

ene og ud det andet öre; – nævn altsaa ikke til

nogen, hvad jeg har sagt om Heiberg, – jeg har jo seet baade

Matisses billeder – og de kan jeg forstaa, – jeg har seet

hans elvers billeder, – alle hans unge tyske elever og

vi har jo Sörensen – og Revold, – og alle disse kan jeg 

forstaa og glæde mig over, – men Heiberg – ikke –

han bare ærgrer mig – og jeg kan nù saa <levende>

forstaa publikùms ærgrelse, naar de hörer os malere

ros rose kùnstværker, som de selv ikke kan

forstaa pluk af – men jeg synes, jeg burde forstaa det;

thi jeg har jo baade seet kùbister og futorister, – men

Jan Heiberg gaar jo ikke saa vidt som disse. Jeg

har ofte vanskelig for helt ùd at forstaa Peder Deberitz,

men hvad jeg ikke forstaar – det ahner jeg hos ham – og

har derfor glæden – jeg begriber ikke at Sohlberg ikke

kan forstaa Sörensen – de er jo rigtignok rene kontraster, –

det maa være saa med Jan Heiberg og mig; – da kan jeg

bedre forstaa Ørnùlv Salichat; – men hos ham forstaar

jeg ogsaa hùmbugen, som han ikke altid er fri for, men

han har ogsaa ting, som har virkelig glædet mig.

Jeg synes ikke engang at Heiberg er god artist – til trods

for at han bruger alle tænkelige artistiske midler, som

har været brugt för, – det aabne lærred i flekker og

med kontourer; – men (saa synes det mig) ùden nogen

hensigt eller indre fölelse af – hvorfor.

Ja saa vil jeg da rigtig haabe, at De maa være

bedre end jeg, og at De maa blive fri den slemme

bronkitten – vær endelig forsigtig; – thi den vil saa let kom-

me igjen og kommer den 2 gange igjen, saa blir man vist

aldrig fri den, – saa er det vist gaaet med mig og Engel.

Engel beder mig hilse Dem hjærteligt. Hils Deres mand

hjærteligst fra Deres hengivne

Nikolai Astrup

Oversettelse

Dear Mrs. Höst!

I have for a long time had the urge to write You, – but

I have been so wretchedly ill, that I have not had the strength to do anything –

It’s this cursed bronchitis, – I feel sorry for You,

that You too are afflicted by it, – I have felt 

it sufficiently enough this winter – that I cannot help but 

wish for humanity, that this illness should

vanish from the earth. This infernal illness draws out

anew all the ailments, one has suffered previously, – at least

that is what happened to me: – as a child I was constantly ill

with bronchitis, but since the age of 13-14, I had not noticed it

until 2 years ago, when it struck me again, I have several times

had pneumonia and later catarrh of the lungs and then

this torturous asthma and a wretched stomach, but the bron-

chitis is nonetheless worse than all the rest in its tenacity – and it

also causes the symptoms from all these other ailments to

pass in <review>, – it has joined forces in particular with the asthma, and these

two combined have every night since the Christmas holidays tortured me so, that on 2

occasions I have been more dead than alive, – so that Engel

believed, that I had been strangulated, when I turned blue from lack of oxygen, – added

to that is a recurring stabbing pain, that results from the sore points left by

the catarrh of the lungs. When I returned home from Bergen, I experienced

terrible weather along the way – that is probably the reason, why

the bronchitis recently became so acute; – it was terrible on

the steamship, which was so overcrowded, that I could not breath below

deck in the stuffy air, – I sat on deck at night

and slept in 20° below temperatures, – that was of course the beginning

of the cold, – but it became worse on the way up from Förde,

as, in addition to uncommon cold for being West Norway, a

snowstorm struck from the north, so that the horse had difficulty in

making its way through the snowdrifts, – we could not see

the road in many places, – in fact we could hardly see

anything; for the storm packed our eyes full of snow,

so that we constantly had to "tear the scales from our eyes" – but worst

of all was the ascent along Jölstervandet, – where the northerly wind

whipped the spray from the waves over us, so that we became covered in ice

We spent eleven hours from Förde and home, – so You can imagine

what condition we were in; – my neighbour, who is 80 years old, claims

he cannot remember such weather with simultaneous frigid 

temperatures and storm; – So we became ill, both my farmhand

and myself, after that Trip, – and now it looks as though this bron-

chitis will not let go of me. – Every week I receive whole

piles of medicine now from one now from another pharmacy

– You who have been a pharmacist, and who have Yourself suffered 

from this bronchitis, – do You not know of any remedy? – well

forgive me for being so impudent, – but I have in desperation

written to both one doctor and the next, and tried out 

lots of medications – most of what I have received are

thyme infusions in cough syrup, – and then I have received

iodoform and chloroform to rub on the back and chest – it

soothes the pain perhaps – but numbs the coughing muscles, or whatever

I shall call it, so that when the gasping overtakes me

me – I am not able to resist it by coughing.

Creosotal has helped a bit sometimes; – sodium iodide and

potassium nitrate I cannot do without, but it seems as though

these medications have less effect now than before – 

Well it is torture, – and I become so exhausted – and then this terrible

rattling and wheezing in the chest, – it is like a choir of 

pious old women at a "prayer meeting", like God-awful

grating psalms, that complain pitifully as

                              II

I myself am doing now in this letter, which I am bothering You with.

The writing is evidently illegible as well, for the arthritis rages in this

miserable body of mine, which I haven’t always been

so cautious with, – for I often have a positively satanic

desire to let it suffer pain through heavy work, moisture

and cold – in return for all the suffering it has caused me, –

I imagine, that it is a kind of self-preservation instinct – in order

that I shall not feel totally at its mercy. 

By the way there is a lot of illness in the village – people here are not accustomed 

to the cold typical of Eastern Norway, that we have had this winter, – the cold

here is also worse, as it is simultaneously humid. Engel is also

ill with bronchitis – and many others here as well.

I saw in the newspapers, that Skredsvig was struck with severe bronchitis,

and that he has travelled south for that reason – fortunate man, 

who can afford it.

I suffer from bitter self-loathing at present; – I had 

great plans before Christmas, – had begun to get into painting

again, – wanted to organise an exhibition for the spring, – apply for the government

stipend, – travel south; – yes thank you – I was able to pay

some debts with the money from the Midsummer picture, – the rest

I have soon consumed in medications – and the prospects for the future

are just as dismal; – poor Engel – for her it is even

more dismal – she finds little comfort in the insurances, if I

should pass away, – she is expecting and that does

not make things easier. – Kari and Arnold are in good health though

with slight colds – they are so boisterous an unruly, that it is

nearly impossible to keep them from running half-naked

out into the cold in the morning, – but now we finally

have the sun back after 4 months’ absence, – and it

somehow brings immediate hope. –

Well now I have troubled You long enough with my own

matters. It’s about these woodcuts that I am sending today. You mentioned

that I should send 3 "March Atmospheres", which You had buyers

for – don’t I owe Inger one of these – I printed only in

blue, – should there be need of one in a green tone, I will print more,

when I receive a letter from You on that point. And then I evidently owe 

You a blue print of "Large Mountain" – I will therefore send one,

if You like it, – if not, then just say so and note,

what You desire instead – (I am feeling so poorly, that I can-

not properly judge any of these prints). Then there is

"Marigolds", that I have for so long been meaning to make You a print

of, – but which You have sold further for me each time – this 

time I am sending two, so that You can choose; the one that I like

most myself, I have marked with a little numeral 1 in the bottom right

corner on the illustration board; – but You can take what You pre-

fer; No 2 (marked in the same place) is more like Korsvold’s

(he has sold his by the way); but I think the nocturnal atmosphere is better

in no. 1, which is also printed more neatly – it is difficult to simul-

taneously achieve a neat print and a good atmosphere, – for example

what I am sending of "Large Mountain" I think has a good nocturnal atmosphere

in that respect perhaps the best I have printed, but it is not printed very

neatly. So I am sending a "Stook" instead of the one that was sold

in Bergen, – but now the others have been burned, so I suppose I will have to print

new versions of them, – which ones were they? Weren’t they ordered? Then I am 

sending, as You see a few new prints, in case You are interested in

having a copy of them; – but do not exhibit them! "the Fisherman" might perhaps be exhibited? – There

is, as You mention, <there> is a strong "cabal" there in the art

association, I am currently on the "black list". Even

Jappe Nilsen (my "discoverer") speaks ill of me, – one has to

III

be a brother-in-law of Jan Heiberg or at least a close relative,

if one wishes to show one’s face there – he is evidently "our lord and provider" at the moment.

I have never been able to understand him – to me 

he seems like "the emperor’s new clothing", and I was 

careless enough to express this to Miss Kamstrup and a few

of the other young painters. In comparison I think the young Revold

has a very different personality, – but perhaps,

it is my "understanding", that is lacking, – but what purpose

do they serve all these crooked jars, pots, bottles

vases and other distorted vessels? – Cezanne has achieved

wonderful things with distorted vases and bottles, they veri-

ly stand there telling each other stories, – but what

benefit there is in copying such things, I do not understand –

his (Heiberg’s) colours are decorative – that’s as far as I can under-

stand – and that’s all I can understand now –, his bathing boys

are utterly inaccurate with regard to perspective, without his having

achieved anything by it, on the contrary the composition is terribly mediocre even

seen from at beginner’s standpoint, – so that the picture veri-

ly falls apart. Decorative colours can be learned by any jour-

neyman painter in our day; – but Heiberg is evidently a

powerful figure by now, – for they bow before him without a 

murmur virtually every one of them – and are happy to be 

allowed to cut their clothes from his pattern, – well it’s true

he is a student of the great Matisse, so he may

perhaps have something to offer despite being borrowed

clothes. Well I should perhaps keep such thoughts to

myself, but I hope, that You allow it to go in 

one ear and out the other; – not mention to

anyone, what I have said about Heiberg, – I have seen both

Matisse’s pictures – and these I can understand, – and

his students’ pictures, – all his young German students and

we have Sörensen here – and Revold, – and all of these I can 

understand and delight in, – but Heiberg – no –

he only aggravates me – and I can now quite <vividly>

understand the public’s aggravation, when they hear us painters

pra praise works of art, which they themselves can make 

neither head nor tail of – but I feel, that I should understand it;

after all I have seen both cubists and futurists, – but

Jan Heiberg does not go as far as them. I

often have difficulty in fully understanding Peder Deberitz,

but what I do not understand – in his work I have an inkling of – and

can therefore find pleasure in – I cannot fathom why Sohlberg can-

not understand Sörensen – they are admittedly pure contrasts, –

this must be the case with Jan Heiberg and me; – then I can

better understand Ørnùlv Salichat; – but in his work I also

perceive the humbug, which he is not always devoid of, but

he also has things, which have greatly pleased me.

I do not think Heiberg is a good artist – even though

he employs all manner of artistic means, which

have been used before, – the bare canvas with dabs and 

with contours; – but (it appears to me) without any

purpose or inner sense of – why.

Well I do truly hope, that You are

in better shape than me, and that You will soon be free of the nasty

bronchitis – please be careful, – for it can so easily re-

turn and if it returns a 2nd time, then one will evidently

never be free of it, – that seems to have occurred with me and Engel.

Engel sends You here warmest greetings. Sincerest greetings to Your husband

from Your devoted

Nikolai Astrup