Letter
21 Pages
Transcription: Tove Kårstad Haugsbø
Translation: Francesca Nichols
Transcription
Kjære Hr. Aslaksen!
I det jeg takker Dem for den ven-
lighed, De viste mig ved at laane
mig den lille skisse, som De havde
kjöbt af mig, saa tör jeg samtidig
bede Dem ùndskylde, at jeg tillader mig
at skrive til Dem tiltrods for, at jeg er
Dem personlig ùbekjendt
Men det har længe været mig en
trang at skrive til Dem og takke Dem
for Deres hjærtelige brev, som De sendte
mig nù i vaar, da jeg var i London.
Det har gjort mig godt mange gange
at læse Deres brev igjennem, naar
jeg har været træt og lei af hele "kùnsten".
Naar jeg har tænkt at "give op" – har
det været en stor tröst at se, at der
virkelig findes mennesker, som man
har kunnet glæde med sin kùnst.
Hvor det kan gjöre godt lige
ind i sjælen at træffe paa
et menneske, der vil sige et
godt ord om en, naar man ellers
kùn hörer, at man er gjenstand
for lögn, bagvaskelse og misùndelse
af sine ondskabsfulde med-
mennesker.
Jeg har sögt at faa ùdtrykt
noget af den naturfölelse, som
kommer over en, naar man færdes i
Jölsternaturen – denne òs og
mùlddamp af gammelt hedenskab
og ùr-religion – denne sagnrike
jord – disse ofte raa farver
har mere værd for min kunst end
bare som, object for mine billeder.
Og det er det min mening, at moti-
verne skùlde have for alle malere
– at de med andre ord skùlde
være mere jordbùndne – da vilde de
ogsaa blive mere fri for daarlig paa-
virkning af fremmed kunst.
Jeg er kanske en af de mest sted- og
jordbùndne malere i landet – og har sat
min ære i at være upaavirket af alle
retninger i kùnsten – men ikke desto
mindre blir jeg beskyldt for at være
paavirket af Egidiùs i et billede som
"St. Hansnat" – et billede som jeg
havde malet længe för jeg havde seet
noget af Egidiùs.
Og nù efterat jeg har seet omtrent
alt hvad Egidiùs har gjort, kan jeg
ikke finde et eneste billede af Egidiùs
som har end den fjerneste lighed med
mit billede "St. Hansnat". Egidiùs
var jordbunden ligesom jeg, nogen anden
lighed findes der ikke mellem os.
De nævner mit billede "St. Hansnat"
skal derfor faa lov at fortælle Dem
dette billedes historie, skjöndt De
er mig helt fremmed og derfor kanske
vil synes, at jeg bliver for intim og
paatrængende – men det er ikke for at
indlede noget bekjendtskab, jeg skriver
dette. De skal være tryg for noget "paahæng"
Men det er saa skjelden et fremmed
menneske saa aabenlyst giver en
sin anerkjendelse som De overfor
mig – at jeg tror, jeg tör tillade mig
at fortælle om dette bilede – især da De
synes at have havt særlig interesse af dets
mystik. Det er jo ikke mit dygtigste
billede rent malerisk seet – men kùnst
ligger ofte udenfor de rent maleriske begre-
ber – det er mystikken – kunstkjenderen
föler det instinktsmæssig, naar han staar
II
Han kan kun föle at der er noget intimt
oplevet – med hændelser bag – i et billede
Billedet St. Hansnat hörer til noget af
det förste, jeg malte – jentùngen som
stirrer paa ilden og störstedelen af land-
skabet havde jeg malt, förend jeg kom
paa malerskolen i Christiania, förend jeg
havde seet noget af kunst – denne barne-
profil hörer til mine intenseste barn-
domserindringer. – Jeg forsögte dengang med
med simple vægmalingsfarver saa ærligt
ligetil og intenst som mùligt at male
efter min barndomserindring en liden
bondejente fra nabogaarden. Jeg kommer
til at male hende igjen – hvis jeg
Hùn maatte ligesom jeg selv og mange
andre börn her paa vestlandet lide
var synd – (ligetil det at rende paa kjælke.)
Og St. Hansnatten naar baalene brændte
rùndt i fjeldene og mennesker myldrede
som sorte pùnkter op over fjeldsiderne, og de
rödklædte jenter med de hvide skjorteærmer
ringede sig som lyse prikker og gnister
om blùssene – da var det synd for
kristne folk at være med, – da matte
den lille jentùngen og jeg staa paa afstand
bag gjærdet og se og höre, hvorledes de
andre dansede om baalet og hùiede af
natùrglæde – den sidste rest af ùrreligion som
ùbevidst blussede op; – jeg fik en forestilling
om at dette med baalet var noget
syndigt – stygt, som blev bedrevet i det
grönskende halvmörke – noget hedensk – og
dette blev end mere forstærket ved jalùxien
som grov i brystet – naar de andre börn
fik være med, og jeg maatte staa ùdenfor.
i sommernatten; men som dog lokkede og
drog mig, nettop fordi den var omgivet med
mystik, ùgùdelighed og raaskab raat heden-
skab – og tilsidst vovede jeg mig ind blandt
de ùgùdelige, men den lille pige stod igjen
og saa paa med det blege ansigtet og de
store sorte öinene som sùged ilden i sig; –
og slig er det, jeg oprindelig har billedet
Jeg havde vel ikke hùsket noget af dette
billede, hvis der ikke senere havde hændt
mig noget som friskede det op. –
Tidlig en morgen sent paa hösten gik
der bùd rùndt alle gaardene – folk maatte
op paa fjeldene og lede – min lille pige
Hele dagen vrimlede der af mennesker
som ledte paa fjeldet. Ud paa kvelden drog
alle nedover mod vandet, og medens vi
lysning langt ùde paa marebakken, der
hvor vi ikke længere saa bùnden. – Jeg fik
en af bondegùtterne med mig ùd paa en baad
– jo det var hende – hùn havde drùknet sig;
thi der var langgrùndt ùd did hùn laa.
Jeg dùkkede ned paa bunden – der var dybt
ned og store ùhyggelige stener omkring hende,
som hùn holdt sig fast i – jeg rev hende lös,
og medens jeg steg op gjennem vandet med
hende, fik jeg se hendes store sorte öine, som
stirrede paa mig – da hùskede jeg St. Hans-
Mine förste billeder malte jeg med simple væg-
malingsfarver og et af de förste forsög traf sig
en St. Hansnat og da forsögte jeg at male
denne lille pige og ilden, landskabet malte
jeg lidt omigjen senere, da jeg havde faaet
tag i bedre farver; men ilden, gjentùngen og
gjærdet staar der endnù som dengang, jeg
malte det, jeg tùrde aldrig röre det senere.
Da De har gjort mig den glæde at om-
III
tale mit billede – kan jeg – (forat vise Dem
at De ikke har taget feil af billedets kùnstneriske
værd) – fortælle Dem, at det nye galleri, som
skal oprettes i Bergen har sögt at formaa
mig til at kjöbe igjen det billede samt 3
andre af mine ældre billeder for saa at
sælge dem til dette galleri, men da jeg
nodig vilde være handelsmand og tjene paa
at kjöbe og sælge igjen tidligere solgte billeder,
saa har jeg givet galleriet adressen paa
billedernes eiere og bedt galleriets opretter
om selv at henvende sig til eierne. Det
ene af billederne er nù erhvervet til galleriet
for den firdobbelte pris af hvad jeg solgte det
for. –
Billedet St.Hansnat var egentlig kùn tænkt
som en stùdie – naar jeg fik bedre farver vilde
jeg male det omigjen i et större billede; jeg
malede samtidig ogsaa en anden stùdie, som
jeg tænkte at brùge til samme motiv, den
har endnù ikke været udstillet, da jeg
har været bange for at alle vilde finde
den for naiv og samtidig for raa og barbarisk –
– selv er jeg nettop glad i den paa grùnd af
disse egenskaber; jentùngen er ikke med
der, men mystikken og den hedenske stem-
ning over figùrerne om ilden er kanske endnù
sterkere her end i St. Hansbilledet.
Kommer jeg til Christiania oftere, og jeg træffer
Dem skal det være mig en fornöielse at
forære Dem denne stùdie, hvis De kùnde
like den. Jeg skal i allefald testamentere
Dem denne stùdie; thi det kan af mange
grùnde hænde at jeg aldrig oftere kommer
til at ùdstille i Christiania.
Jeg har nemlig ödelagt min helbred först
ved at gaa nogle aar i Christiania og sùlte
og fryse mig næsten ihjæl, medens jeg stùderede,
dernæst ved at ligge ude her i fjeldene og
male i alskens veir, saa at jeg tilslùt
paadrog mig en tuberkùlose, der dog standsede
efter nogle aars forlöb og overlod mig lidt
af mine lùnger i behold – saa at jeg de sidste
aar har kùnnet arbeide lidt, omendskjöndt
jeg er bleven sterkt hindret i mit arbeide af
mit svage bryst og den stadige aandenöd
og kvælningsanfald. Jeg kan derfor ikke gjöre
regning paa at have mange aar at leve i.
Jeg var nù i vaar bleven meget friskere og
doktoren mente jeg kunde blive helt frisk igjen;
men i det sidste har min helbred forværret sig
– dertil har ökonomiske og kùnstneriske sorger og
bekymringer bidraget meget – samt nogle
misùndelige og ùtaknemlinge venners ondskabsfùlde
og helt lögnagtige sladderhistorier om mig.
Jeg var, som De veed, i London i vinter med
stipendium af Henrichsens legat, og jeg glædede
mig til at kunne faa stùdere helt iro en tid
i ùdlandet – men da jeg havde en kone at
ùnderholde og lidt gjæld som jeg krævedes haardt
for – og da jeg ikke syntes det var ret at brùge
af stipendiet at dække disse utgifter med,
saa holdt jeg en udstilling i Bergen i vaar og
solgte der, hvad jeg havde af billeder til spott-
priser (deriblandt mange gode billeder) – og jeg fik
derved all min gjæld betalt og saa meget til-
overs, at min kone kùnne leve deraf ½ aar
medens jeg var i ùdlandet. Jeg glædede mig nù
til, at jeg skùlde faa stùdere en tid i ùdlandet
i fred for gjældskrav og ökonomiske sorger og tog
mig derfor en snartùr til Bergen baade for at
faa se min egen udstilling og for i hast at ordne
mine private udgifsposter i anledning ùdstillingen
som jeg maatte lade andre besörge med rammer
afhentning o.s.v. medens jeg var i ùdlandet – og min
tanke var da straks at vende tilbage til London,
hvor jeg havde nogle paabegyndte arbeider.
Men jeg fik ikke bruge min retoùrbillet; thi
stipendiet blev mig imidlertid frataget ùden
at der blev givet mig nogen grùnd derfor.
Jeg gik hele mai og jùni og ventede forgjæves
paa svar fra legatbestyrelsen om hvorhvidt jeg fik legatet igjen og endelig fik jeg
tilslùt gjennem nogle bedre stillede slegtninge
i Christiania höre tvetydige ùdtalelser om at:
mit "private liv" skùlde være af den beskaf-
fenhed, at jeg ikke kùnne tilstaaes stipendiet
saa længe som andre.
Jeg har nù gaaet og ærgret mig syg over
dette og stùderet og spekùleret paa, hvad jeg
skal gjöre – og forhört mig baade vidt og bredt
om, hvorledes man har kùnnet faa et sligt
lögnagtigt rygte i stand – og hvori mit
"private livs" udskeielser skùlde bestaa – jeg
synes jeg har fört et saa skikkeligt liv,
som det kan fordres af noget menneske –
– jeg giftede mig rigtignok ifjor med en
lidt vel ùng pige – hùn var 15 aar, men
jeg synes ikke dette kùnde være i den grad
ùmoralskt, at jeg derfor skùlde nægtes at
faa mit stipendiùm saa længe som andre.
Jeg stod i det "norske totalistforbùnd" baade
för og efter at stipendiet blev mig tilstaaet,
og i hele den tid jeg var i ùdlandet – nöd jeg –
– siger og skriver et eneste glas spiritùosa –
og det var i et sygdomstilfælde. Jeg har skrevet
og forespurgt flere af mine kjendinger i Christi-
ania, og de veed kùn at bekræfte, at der gaar
det rygte at "mit private liv", er saa slet
at stipendiet maatte fratages mig.
Det er jo ærgerligt saaledes baade at blive
sat paa bar bakke efter at have gjort
sit yderste for at faa dækket sin gjæld
og paa et tidspùnkt, da man er afskaaret
fra at söge noget andet stipendiùm –
havde jeg enda faaet ùnderretning om fratagelsen
i tide kùnde jeg sögt et andet stipen-
diùm – Werenskiold sagde ifjor, at jeg stod
som nr. I til Statens stipendiùm; men da
jeg samtidig allerede var indstillet som
nr. I til Henrichsens legat – saa blev selv-
fölgelig statens stupendiùm givet til en anden.
Det var da meget bedre, om jeg slet ikke
havde faaet Henrichsens legat – naar det atter
skùlde fratages mig förend den sedvanlige tid
var ùde; – thi havde jeg ikke stolet paa
at jeg nù havde Henrichsens legat, saa havde
jeg selvfölgelig sögt et andet stipendiùm
enten Hoùens eller Statens, og jeg havde da
faaet en af disse; – thi jeg stod for tùr til
at faa en af dem – nù derimod fik jeg ikke
engang ùnderretning om at stipendiet var mig
frataget – og fandt saaledes ikke paa at söge
noget andet i tide – og da jeg endelig ad privat
vei fik vide af, at en anden var indstillet
til mit stipendiùm – ja saa var ogsaa
de andre stipendier bortgivne paa 2 aar.
Saa nù kan jeg altsaa ikke faa noget stipen-
diùm paa 2 aar.
Men det ærgerligste af det hele er at
man ogsaa skal faa sit gode navn og rygte
ùdskjæmt ùden grùnd, saa at man
endog skal faa ùfortjente irettesættelser af sine
slegtninge; thi alskens lögnagtige historier
verserer nù om mig i Christiania – blandt
andre en om at jeg skulde ligge paa et
(navngivet) hotel med en elskerinde og
brùge mit op stipendiùm saaledes i sùs og dùs.
Jeg boede rigtignok i 3 dage med min kone
paa et hotel (det samme navngivne hotel), som
hverken havde öl- eller vin-ret end sige
brændvinsræt. Vi spiste 2 maaltider pr. dag
og smagte ingen drikkevarer – (som heller ikke
var at faa) – saa der var ingen overdaadighed.
Jeg har aldrig hverken för eller senere boet
paa samme hotel – og dengang jeg ifjor
böete boede der de 3 dage havde jeg endnù
ikke faaet en öre af stipendiet. Jeg har
overhovedet ikke boet paa noget andet hotel i de
sidste 4 aar end ùndtagen paa Missionshotellet i Bergen,
og der faar man som bekjendt ingen slags
spiritùöse drikke, ja man har endog strengt
forbùd mod at medtage denslags indenfor hotellet
hotellets vægge. Hvad angaar historien om den
"elskerinde" jeg skùlde havt med mig – saa kan
det nok tænkes at hendes min kones ùnge alder kan
have givet anledning til "snak", saa at en eller
anden har troet, at hùn ikke var min kone,
men en elskerinde som fulgte med mig, og at
V
der saaledes er opstaaet en historie.
Forresten har jeg ogsaa faaet vide, at to
ùnge malere, som har været mine gode
venner, som jeg ofte har laant eller rettere
givet penge – den ene endog flere hùndrede
kroner – disse 2 venner, som har boet
hos mig gratis i Jölster, – den ene endog
aaret rùndt i flere aar – disse to skal
som tak derfor have gjort sig end enige om
at lave en skandalhistorie om mig –
"at jeg skùlde brùge mit stipendiùm paa
et hotel og sætte det over styr der o.s.v.
(antagelig paa grùndlag af ovennævnte historie)
Den ene af disse to har været ùforsigtig
nok til at fortælle denne historie til en
anden af mine venner, og han tilföiede
samtidig, at han vilde benytte sig af
denne historie – paa höiere hold – og derved
hindre mig fra at faa anden del av stipen-
diet – og NB. – dette sagde han förend
jeg endnù havde faaet en öre af legatet;
thi dette blev mig först ùdbetalt, da jeg kom
til Bergen for at reise til ùdlandet.
Ingen af disse mine forhenværende venner
fik noget godt af sin lögnagtige sladderhistorie
– stakkars folk, de fik ikke stipendiet – derimod
blev dette givet til en, hvis "private liv" er
saa offentlig kjendt, at man nok kùnde hake
sig ved det, om man vilde, men han er en god
kunstner, og jeg har derfor intet ondt öie til
ham for at han fik mit stipendiùm.
Men jeg er lei af disse ùnge Christianiamalerne, som
ikke gjör stort andet end at skùle til hinanden
og være syge af misùndelse, hver gang en faar
et stipendiùm, og da de til stadighed bor i Christi-
ania, har de god anledning at sidde paa "Grand"
og lave lögnagtige sladderhistorier.
Jeg er lei af dem – og derfor har jeg bestemt
mig til aldrig at gaa dem iveien oftere. –
Jeg "streiker" herefter og udstiller ikke i
Christiania – da reiser jeg heller som sim-
pel arbeider ned i en af kobbergrùberne
her paa vestlandet og sliter alt det mit
daarlige bryst taaler, saa at min stakkars
lille kone ikke skal sùlte den tid, jeg er
i live.
Man skal ikke med nogen ret kùnne beskylde
mig for at have brùgt mit stipendiùm til andet
end mine stùdier; – af sparsommelighedshensyn
lod jeg endog min kone være igjen oppe i en fjeldbygd,
hvor hùn kunde leve billigt, medens jeg var i udlandet.
Jeg kan skaffe bevidnelser fra samme hotel, hvor-
fra skandalhistorien skùlde være opstaaet og fra
stedets prest, kirkesanger, lærer, postaabner og
hvem man vil af troværdige mænd – om, at der
intet har været at udsætte paa mit private liv.
Jeg havde forresten aldrig troet at Christiania ma-
gistrat – eller hvem det nù er som har med
legatùddelingen at gjöre – tog hensyn til alskens
lögnagtige sladderhanke og deres historier – ùden at
ùndersöge sagen nöiere.
Hvis De nù har havt taalmodighed til at
gjennemlæse mine skriverier, maa jeg takke
Dem derfor og bede Dem undskylde, at jeg har valgt
Dem som modtager tilhörer for mine jeremiader. Hvis De
skùlde have havt anledning til at höre noget
om disse historier angaaende mit private liv,
vilde jeg være Dem meget taknemlig, om De vilde
sende mig nogle linier derom.
For min families skyld og for mit gode navn
og rygtes skyld har jeg tænkt at söge retslig
bistand, for at jeg iallefald kan faa dementeret
det lögnagtige rygte om mit "private liv".
Som De vil forstaa har dette baade betaget mig
arbeidslyst og i detheletaget lysten til at befatte
mig med kùnst – naar man forùden at slide sig ùd
for kùnstens skyld ogsaa skal resikere sit gode navn
og rygte. Jeg kommer herefter kùn til at male
smaa skisser for mig selv saa at jeg tilfredsstiller det vigtigste af
min kunstneriske trang – saa faar jeg forövrigt sige
kùnsten farvel og arbeide som en almindelig arbei-
der, hvis jeg klarer det. I det jeg atter beder Dem
ùndskylde mit lange brev, er jeg Deres i taknem-
lighed forbùndne.
Adr: Aalhus – Jölster – Söndfjord
Translation
Dear Mr. Aslaksen!
While I thank You for the kind-
ness You showed me by lending
me the little sketch which You had
purchased from me, I dare
ask You to pardon me for permitting myself
to write to You despite the fact, that
You are not personally acquainted with me.
But I have long had the
urge to write to You to thank You
for Your cordial letter, which You sent
me this past spring, when I was in London.
It has done me good to read through
Your letter on many occasions, when
I have been sick and tired of everything related to “art”.
When I have thought of “giving up” – it
has been a great comfort knowing, that there
actually exist persons, to whom one
has been able to bring pleasure through one’s art.
How salutary even unto one’s
soul it is to encounter
an individual, who is willing to speak
kindly of one, when one normally
only experiences being the object
of lies, slander and envy
on the part of one’s spiteful fellow
human beings.
I have attempted to express
something of the sense of nature, that
overwhelms one when wandering about in
Jölster’s landscape – these vapours and
soil permeated with age-old paganism
and primitive religions – this soil full
of legend – these predominantly raw colours
have more value for my art than
merely as subjects for my pictures.
And that in my opinion, is what mo-
tifs should include when it comes to all painters
– in other words they should
be more rooted in the land – then they would
also be less marked by negative in-
fluences from foreign art.
I am perhaps one of the painters in the country who is
most rooted to place and the land – and have staked
my reputation on remaining unaffected by the
many art movements – but despite
this I am accused of being
influenced by Egidiùs in a picture like
“Midsummer Eve” – a picture that I
had painted long before I had seen
anything by Egidiùs.
And now after I have seen almost
everything that Egidiùs has done, I
cannot find one single picture by Egidiùs
that has the remotest resemblance to
my picture “Midsummer Eve”. Egidiùs
was attached to the soil like myself, no other
resemblance exists between us.
You mention my picture “Midsummer Eve”
will therefore permit myself to tell You
the history of this picture, even though You are
a complete stranger to me and may therefore
think, that I am being intimate and
intrusive – but it is not in order to
initiate any acquaintanceship, that I write
this. You can be assured that you will remain free of any “[clinging]”
But it is so seldom a stranger
their recognition as You do to
me – that I believe I dare permit myself
to talk about this picture – especially as You
seem to have had a particular interest in its
mystique. It is not my most accomplished
picture in a purely painterly sense – but art
often lies beyond the purely painterly con-
cepts – it is the mystique – the art lover
instinctively feels, when he stands
II
He can only sense that something has been intimately
experienced – backed by events – in a picture
The picture Midsummer Eve is among
the first, that I painted – the young girl
staring at the fire and most of the land-
scape I had painted before I enrolled
in the painting school in Christiania, before I
had seen any art – this profile of a
child belongs to my most intense child-
hood memories. – I attempted back then with
my simple house paint colours as truthfully
naturally and intensely as possible to paint
from my childhood memory a little
peasant girl from the neighbouring farm. I will
Like me and many other children here
in West Norway she was obliged to suffer
was a sin – (even riding [downhill] on a sled.)
And on Midsummer Eve when the bonfires blazed
throughout the mountains and the people swarmed
like blacks dots up the sides of the mountains, and the
girls dressed in red with white shirt sleeves
formed rings of bright dots and sparks
around the flares – then it was a sin for
Christian folk to join in – so the
little girl and I had to stand at a distance
behind the fence and watch and listen to how the
others danced around the bonfire and shouted in
joyful appreciation of nature – the last remains of an ancient religion that
unconsciously flared up; – I had the impression
that this bonfire was something
sinful, ugly[,] being carried out in the
shadowy green semi-darkness – something pagan – and
this was strengthened even more by the envy
that dug into my breast – when the other children
were allowed to join in, and I had to stand on the outside.
up the summer night; but which nevertheless lured and
drew me to it, precisely because it was surrounded by
mystique, wickedness and ruthlessness raw pagan-
ism – and in the end I dared join
the sinners, but the little girl stayed behind
and watched with a pale countenance and the
large black eyes that sucked in the fire; –
and that is how the picture was originally imprinted
I would not have remembered anything of this
image, if something had not happened to
me later which refreshed my memory. –
Early one morning in late autumn a
message was sent around to all the farms – people were
called up to the mountains to participate in a search – my little girl
All day long the mountain was teeming with people
everyone descended towards the lake, and while we
pale far out on a steep underwater incline, where
we could no longer see the bottom. – I took
one of the farm boys with me out in a boat
– yes it was her – she had drowned herself;
because it was shallow all the way out to where she lay.
I dived down to the bottom – it was at a great
depth and large eerie stones surrounded her,
which she clung to – I pulled her loose,
and while rising up through the water holding
her, I could see her large black eyes,
staring at me – that is when I remembered Mid-
My first pictures I painted with ordinary house
paint colours and one of the first attempts occurred
on Midsummer Eve and so I attempted to paint
this little girl and the bonfire, the landscape I touched
up a little afterwards, when I had got
hold of better paints; but the bonfire, the young girl and
the fence remain as they were back when I
painted it, I never dared to touch it since.
Since You have given me the pleasure of speak-
III
ing about my picture – I can tell You – (in order to show You
that You have not been mistaken about the picture’s artistic
worth) – that the new gallery, which
is being established in Bergen has tried to persuade
me to buy back that painting and three
more of my older pictures to then
sell them to this gallery, but since I
am reluctant to act as a dealer that profits from
buying and reselling previously sold pictures,
I have given the gallery the addresses of
the pictures’ owners and asked the founder of the gallery
to approach the owners himself. One
of the pictures has now been acquired by the gallery
for four times the amount I sold it
for. –
The Midsummer Eve picture was actually intended only
as a study – when I got hold of better paints I
would paint it over again in a larger picture; At
the same time I painted another study, which
have been afraid that everyone might find
it too naïve and too raw and barbaric as well –
I am fond of it myself precisely because of
these qualities; the young girl is not included
there, but the mystique and the pagan atmos-
phere of the figures around the fire are perhaps even
stronger here than in the Midsummer Eve picture.
If I come to Christiania more often, and I meet
You it will be a pleasure for me to
present You with this study, if You
liked it. I will in any case bequeath this
study to You in my will; for it is possible for
many reasons that I may never again
exhibit in Christiania.
I have ruined my health you see first
by spending some years in Christiania going hungry
and nearly freezing to death, while I studied,
and then by lying outdoors in the mountains here and
painting in all kinds of weather, so that in the end
I came down with tuberculosis, which nevertheless ended
after a few years and left a little
of my lungs intact – so that in recent
years I have been able to work a little, although
I have been greatly hindered in my work by
my weak lungs and constant shortness of breath
and choking seizures. I can therefore not
count on having many years left to live.
I had become much better this spring and
the doctor believed that I might recover completely;
but my health has deteriorated lately
– to which economic and artistic sorrows and
worries have contributed greatly – in addition to a few
envious and ungrateful friends’ malicious
and completely deceitful gossip about me.
I was, as You know, in London this winter on a
grant from the Henrichsen Endowment, and I looked
forward to being able to study completely in peace for a while
abroad – but since I had a wife to
support and a little debt that I was being hounded to pay
off – and because I didn’t think it was right to use
some of the grant to cover these expenses,
I arranged an exhibition in Bergen in the spring and
sold there, whatever pictures I had at hand for a
pittance (among them many good pictures) – and I was
thus able to pay all my debts and had enough
left that my wife could live off it for ½ a year
while I was abroad. I looked forward now
to being able to study for a period abroad
free of debt claims and financial sorrows and thus
made a quick trip to Bergen both to
have a look at my own exhibition and in order to quickly see to
my private expenses connected with the exhibition[,]
which I was obliged to have others cover such as frames
transporting, etc. while I was abroad – and my
plan was to return immediately to London,
where I had some works in progress.
But I was not able to use my return ticket; because
in the meantime I had been deprived of the grant without
being given any grounds as to why.
I waited all of May and June in vain
for a reply from the endowment committee about whether the endowment would be returned to me and I
finally heard through some well-off relatives
in Christiania ambiguous remarks about how:
my “private life” was purportedly of such a
nature, that I could not be offered the grant
for as long as others.
I have since worried myself sick about
this and deliberated and speculated about, what I
shall do – and have enquired both far and wide
about, how anyone could fabricate such
deceitful gossip – and what the
excesses of my “private life” might consist of – I
believe I have led as proper a life,
as can be expected of any human being –
– admittedly I married a girl last year
who was a bit young – she was 15 years old, but
I did not think this was so
immoral, that I should thereby be denied
receiving my grant for as long as others.
I was a member of the “Norwegian teetotaller society” both
before and after the grant was offered to me,
and during the entire time I was abroad – I drank –
– I vow one single glass of spirits –
and that was due to illness. I have written
and questioned several of my acquaintances in Christi-
ania, and the only thing they were able to confirm was, that there
is talk circulating about how “my private life” is so depraved,
that the grant had to be taken from me.
It is infuriating to be left
stranded after having done
one’s utmost to pay one’s debts
and also at a point in time, when one is prevented
from applying for any other grant –
had I at least been informed about the withdrawal
in time I might have applied for another
grant – Werenskiold said last year, that I was
the no. 1 candidate for the Government grant; but since
I already was nominated as
no. 1 for the Henrichsen Endowment – then ob-
viously the government grant was given to someone else.
It would have been much better, had I not
received the Henrichsen Endowment at all – when it would
be withdrawn again before the normal period
was over; – for if I had not counted on
having the Henrichsen Endowment, then I would have
of course applied for another grant
either Hoùen’s or the Government grant, and then I would have
received one of these; – because it was my turn
to be offered one of them – now on the other hand I was not
even informed that the grant had been
withdrawn – and thus did not think of applying
for another in time – and when I finally through private
sources found out, that someone else was nominated
for my grant – by then the
other grants were also given away for 2 years.
So now I cannot receive any
grant for 2 years.
But what is most infuriating is that
one should also have one’s good name and reputation
sullied without cause, so that one
is even subject to undeserved admonishments from one’s
relatives; because all sorts of deceitful stories
are now circulating about me in Christiania – among
others that I presumably stayed at a
(specifically named) hotel with a lover and
used up my grant in this extravagant way.
Admittedly I spent 3 days with my wife
at a hotel (the same named hotel), which
did not serve either beer or wine not to mention
liquor. We ate 2 meals per day
and did not drink anything – (which was not
available in any case) – so there was extravagance .
I have neither before nor since stayed
at that hotel – and at the time I lived stayed
there during those 3 days last year I had not
yet received one öre of the grant. I have
not spent a night at any other hotel during the
past 4 years other with the exception of the Mission hotel in Bergen,
and as one knows in that place there are no
drinks containing spirits to be had, in fact it is even strictly
forbidden to bring anything of the sort within the hotel
the hotel’s walls. As for the story of the
“lover” I presumably brought with me – it can
well be that her my wife’s young age may
have been the cause of “talk”, so that someone or
other believed, that it was not my wife,
but a lover who accompanied me, and that
V
was what instigated the story.
Incidentally I have also heard, that two
young painters, who have been my good
friends, to whom I have lent or rather
given money – one of them even several hundred
kroner – these 2 friends, who have lived for free
in my home in Jölster, – one of them even
all year round for several years – these two it seems
to show their gratitude have agr agreed
to fabricate a scandalous story about me –
“that I had presumably spent my grant at
a hotel and used it up there, etc.[”]
(most likely due to the afore-mentioned story)
One of these two has been careless
enough to tell this story to another
one of my friends and added
at the same time, that he would bring
this story – to people higher up – and thereby
prevent me from receiving the second half of the
grant – and NB – this he uttered before
I had received one öre of the endowment:
because this was paid out to me, when I arrived
in Bergen on my way overseas.
None of these former friends of mine
benefited from their deceitful gossip
– poor souls, they did not get the grant – on the other hand
it was given to someone, whose “private life” is
so publicly known, that one might certainly make
a point of it, if one wished, but he is a good
artist, and I therefore have nothing against
him for having been given my grant.
But I am tired of these young Christiania painters, who
do nothing but scowl at each other
and are sick with envy, every time one is awarded
a grant, and since they continue to live in Christi-
ania, they have ample opportunity to sit at “the Grand”
and fabricate deceitful gossip.
I am tired of them – and I have therefore decided
not to cross their paths again. –
I am “striking” hereafter and will not exhibit in
Christiania – I would rather become a com-
mon worker down at one of the copper mines
here in West Norway and toil as much as my
poor lungs can bear, so that my poor
little wife shall not go hungry as long as I am
alive.
No one has the right to accuse
me of having used my grant for anything
other than my studies; – in order to save money
I even had my wife remain up in a mountain village
where she could live cheaply, while I was abroad.
I can obtain evidence from the same hotel, where
the scandalous episode was supposed to have taken place and from
the local priest, cantor, school instructor, postman and
any other trustworthy men – to the effect, that there
is nothing negative to say about my private life.
I would never have believed that a Christiania ma-
gistrate – or whoever is responsible for
distributing endowments – would pay attention to all manner of
deceitful gossipmongers and their stories – without
investigating the case more closely.
If You have had the patience to
read through my words, I must thank
You for that and ask You to pardon me for having chosen
You as recipient listener of my Jeremiads. If You
might have had the opportunity to hear something
about these stories about my private life,
I would be very grateful to You, if You would
send me a few lines in that regard.
For my family’s sake and for the sake of my good name
and reputation I have considered seeking legal
assistance, so that I might at least have the
false gossip about my “private life” [rescinded].
As You will understand, this has robbed me of both
the desire to work and the desire to have anything
to do with art – when in addition to wearing oneself out
for the sake of art one must also risk one’s good name
and reputation. I will hereafter only paint
small sketches for myself in order to satisfy my most
essential artistic drives – and otherwise say
goodbye to art and work as a common labour-
er, if I can manage it. As I once again ask You
to pardon my long letter, I am most gratefully
obliged to You
Adr: Aalhus – Jölster – Söndfjord