Adr. Sanddal Söndfjord 18/5 09

Kjære gamle ven! 

Dú maa ikke forarge dig paa mig kjære

ven, om jeg nú beder dig om at hjælpe 

mig enten med et lidet laan, eller om dú 

paa anden maade kunde skaffe mig lidt

mynt – Jeg er nemlig i stor pengeknibe

for tiden – Dú er gjerne i samme omstæn-

digheder som jeg – saa dú maa ikke gjöre 

noget offer; – men dú har bedre bekjendtska-

ber end jeg og vilde derfor kanske klare at

reise et par hundred kroners laan for mig. 

De penge jeg havde tilgode fra min udstilling

ifjor, har jeg og min kone tæret paa til denne

tid – men nú er det slút, og jeg skylder en

god del atpaa – Jeg har været syg hele hösten

og vinteren – mine daarlige lunger værsner, –

og jeg har derfor ikke faaet arbeidet noget

slags ordentlig billede, som kúnde skaffe

mig lidt mynt, – jeg har skyldnere

baade her og der (i Kristiania skúlde jeg 

havt tilgode flere húndrede kroner hos

malere og desværre ogsaa hos andre privat-

folk, for exempel hos vor fælles ven Geo Bet-

zonich, som skylder mig 100 kr.) som jeg ikke faar.

Min svigerfar skylder mig 300 kr., som jeg

maatte laane ham for at formilde ham, da

jeg úden hans vidende bortförte hans 15 årige

datter. – I Bergen, hvor jeg som dú ogsaa 

sagde solgte mine billeder til næsten

spotpriser og enda lod mig prútte ned i fjerde

og femte delen af den paa forhaand lavt satte 

pris, – der har jeg havt den ærgrelse, at jeg

ikke kan faa den lavt nedprúttede betaling

for mine billeder –: flere af de, som kjöbte 

billeder af mig vil ikke engang svare mig

paa min forespörgsel: om jeg enten kan faa

mine billeder igjen eller iallefald lidt af

den lave betaling, – jeg skúlde have.

Saaledes skal jeg have 175 kr. hos din gode

ven advokat Knúdsen – jeg har bedt ham om

jeg kan faa lidt penge – jeg forlagte forlangte

ikke alt – eller om han vilde, kúnde han sende

mig mine billeder tilbage – jeg har havt mange

bestillinger i vinter – fra Kristiania – Stavanger og

Bergen, men har maattet tilbage vise alle, 

fordi jeg ikke havde billeder, som var gode,

om jeg nú hadde faaet mine billeder igjen,

kúnde jeg derfor have faaet dem afsat nú,

men Knúdsen har ikke svaret mig endnú. –

Han er kanske i pengevanskeligheder han ogsaa

fortiden. Ja, Ja. – Hvis dú tror at man-

den ikke blir fornærmet derfor, saa kanske 

dú vilde gjöre mig den tjeneste at tale med

ham for mig, – men gjör det ikke, hvis dú

tror, han kan blive fornærmet, eller hvis

han skulde anse mig for en sladderhank,

fordi jeg skrev til dig om dette. Jeg har 

mange private skyldnere her i bygden ogsaa,

men jeg kan ikke faa noget hós nogen, og

jeg vil nödig gaa for haardt paa med mine krav, 

jeg har desuden ikke papir pa eller bevis 

paa nogen af dem, – og jeg vilde heller ikke

benytte mig at et gammelt bevis, som jeg fik

hos en fattig synder, som for 4-5 aar siden

laante penge af mig; en af dem er ogsaa heden-

gangen. Nú mangler jeg penge nok til

farver om jeg skulde blive saa frisk, at jeg

kunde faa arbeide lidt i vaar og sommer –

– men det værste for mig, synes jeg er, at

man gjerne tager fra mig min lille hytte,

hvori jeg og min kone har boet den triste vinter.

Den er liden – bare 3 meter i hver kant og

taget ^taket er lidt læk, men jeg har en kjælder, hvori

jeg i bedre tider har havt lidt gode saker – ak ja!

Denne hytten min kan dú vide jeg er glad i – den

sparer mig i allefald 50-60 kr. aarlig, som jeg för 

har maattet betale i húsleie her i bygden – jeg

orker nemlig ikke at være hjemme hos min

far – thi al gúdeligheden lægger sig for brystet,

som er nok belastet paa forhaand. Aavang skyl-

                         II

der mig ogsaa penge, men det vilde være synd

at kræve ham, tiltrods for at han har löiet

paa mig. Wigdehl skylder mig et par húndred

kroner og vel det, men han er ogsaa for god

ven til at kræve tiltrods for legat historien

ifjor, som han (selvfölgelig mod sin vilje) var 

lidt aarsag i ved sin uforsigtighed i at omtale

et rygte, som var bleven lavet om mig. 

Nú ja, jeg havde múligens fortjent at legatet

blev mig frataget – jeg er begyndt at böie ryg;

men man kúnde i det mindste have

varslet mig derom straks, – jeg fik i det

hele ingen beskjed derom; – thi havde jeg det

faaet, vilde jeg jo kunnet sögt Statens

stipendiúm, og jeg havde da faaet ^det; thi jeg har

hört to af denne stipendiekomite udtale, at 

jeg "vilde" straks have faaet statens stipendiúm,

om man ikke havde troet mig vel bevaret

med det stipendiúm, jeg havde – jeg vented jo

hver dag hele vaaren og sommeren údover

paa at faa beskjed om, at jeg havde faaet

mig tilstaaet anden del af stipendiet,

og jeg glædede mig rigtig til at faa komme

til Italien, hvad jeg godt kúnde trænge for

mine daarlige lúnger. Nú er jeg iaar indstil-

let til Statens stipendiúm – men det har

jeg været saa ofte – der er 5-6 stykker indstil-

let, og jeg er en af de sidste i rækken, saa

gjör mig ingen forhaabninger der –. Var jeg

bare frisk, vilde jeg reise ned i en af kobber-

grúberne her paa vestlandet og slide som 

en anden arbeider – saa at min lille kone

i allefald ikke skulde súlte den tid, jeg end-

nú var i live – men jeg taaler det ikke –

skjönt jeg er seig! Men igrúnden skammer 

jeg mig lidt for min far og mor, om de

skulde faa vide det, – det blir vel derfor

til, at jeg reiser til Amerika; – der har 

man da ingen, som gotter sig over ens

úndergang, – og der kan det da i detmindste

lönne sig at slide. Ja kjære ven dú

faa úndskylde mine jeremiader. Nú

skal det være slut dermed for denne gang.

Det er jo endnú deiligt at leve; her er vaar;

– isen som har ligget og stængt og hverken

villet briste eller bære er nú i et öieblik

sopt af Jölstervandet – det var storartet 

at se paa fra mit lille vindú – havde 

jeg bare havt farver og orket at male, 

men jeg er saa forbandet træt. Det er

múligt, at jeg kan faa laant lidt hos min

far til sommeren – jeg blir vel gjerne for

förste gang nödt at krybe til korset, –

jeg har nemlig endnú ikke siden var 19 aar

faaet rödt öre hos ham. Han har jo heller

ingentig intet at overlade mig – vi har jo 

været 14 söskende, og 2 har stadig været paa 

skole samtidigt, og det har kostet alene ca.

2000 pr. aar – naar han saa (ifölge embeds-

kalenderen) har 2600 kr. i indtægt om aaret

og der gaar 400 ja optil 500 i skatter brand-

asúrance (som er tvúngen for prester), indskud

i enkekasse, pensionkasse, begravelsesfr. o.s.v.

(afbetaling paa laan paa embedet ^for húsbyning údgjör

alene over 300 kr. aarlig)

saa blir det ikke meget at leve af

for en stor familie – ja der er faktisk intet

andet hele familien lever av end præstegaar-

den. Den mand, som ifjor havde fortalt dig at 

min far sad i et fedt kald búrde se efter i

embedskalenderen for geistelige embeder, saa vil han

se, at Jölster staar opslaaet for 2,600 – to tusind

sekshúndred kroner – og har end embedet gaaet

en smúle frem, saa det er nærmere 3000 nú,

saa er det alligevel ikke nok for en stor familie.

Dú har naturligvis hört den sörgelig nyhed,

at vor gode ven Aarstad Olsen er död.

Han döde som en god hedning gúd ske lov.

Her gaar det sent med vaaren – det er höit til fjelds

sneen ligger langt ned gjenn over fjeldene, og ikke

en knop for vel er údsprúngen; men saa gaar 

det til gjengjæld saa forbandet fort altfor fort,

naar varmen kommer for alvor. Nú reiser en

af mine venner blandt bondegúttene her til

Bergen og vil forsöge, om han kan faa lov at ud-

stille, – det blir en af "naivisterne". Jeg faar vel 

höre fra dig, hvordan dú liker ham, hvis han da faar

lov at hænge sine billeder op i Kúnstforeningen. Læv vel!

Hils din kone fra mig og min kone. Din N. Astrup

Addr. Sanddal Söndfjord 18/5 09

Dear old friend!

You must not be annoyed with me my dear

friend, if I now ask you to help

me either with a little loan, or if you

can obtain some cash for me in some other 

manner – For I am in a great pinch for money

at the moment – You are possibly in the same circum-

stances as me – so you must not make

any sacrifices; – but you have better acquain-

tances than I and might thus manage to

stir up a few hundred kroner’s loan for me.  

My wife and I have been rationing the money 

I had remaining from my exhibition last year, up until

recently – but now it is gone, and I owe a 

good deal on top of that – I have been ill throughout the fall

and winter – my poor lungs are deteriorating, –

and I have therefore not been able to work on any

really good picture that might bring 

in a little cash, – I have borrowers 

both here and there (in Kristiania [Oslo] I should

have several hundred kroner in credit from

painters and unfortunately also from other private

persons, for example from our mutual friend Geo Bet-

zonich, who owes me 100 kroner,) which is not being returned to me.

My father-in-law owes me 300 kroner, which I

was forced to lend him in order to pacify him, as

I abducted his 15-year-old daughter without his

knowledge. – In Bergen, where as you also 

said I sold my pictures at virtually

bargain prices and even consented to being haggled down to a fourth

or fifth of the already low price that was set before-

hand, – there I have experienced the frustration of 

not receiving the bargained low payment

for my pictures –: several of the people who bought

pictures from me will not even respond

to my requests: asking whether I can either have

my pictures back or at least a little of

the low payment, – that was owed me.

I should likewise receive 175 kroner from your good

friend attorney Knúdsen – I have asked him to 

give me a little money – I did not deman demand

all of it – or if he wished, he could send

me my pictures in return – I have had many

orders [for paintings] this winter – from Kristiania [Oslo] – Stavanger and

Bergen, but was forced to reject them all, 

because I did not have pictures that were good,

if my pictures had been returned to me,

I would have been able to sell them now,

but Knúdsen has yet to answer my letter. –

Perhaps he has financial troubles himself

at the moment. Well, Well. – If you think the 

man will not be offended by it, perhaps

you would do me the favour of speaking to

him on my behalf, – but do not do it, if you

think that he can be offended, or if

he should consider me to be a tattletale,

because I wrote to you about this. I have

many private borrowers here in the village as well,

but I cannot get anything out of them, and

I loathe being too harsh in my claims,

I have in addition no documents showing or proof 

for any of them, – nor de do I wish to

make use of an old document, which I received

from a penniless debtor, who borrowed money 

4-5 years ago; one of them has even passed

away. Now I do not have enough money for

paints in the event that I should become well enough to

be able to work a little this spring and summer –

– but the worst thing for me, I feel, is that

it is possible that my little cabin, where my wife and I

have lived this miserable winter, will be taken from me.

It is little – only 3 metres on each side and

the ceiling ^roof leaks a little, but I have a cellar, where

during better times I have kept some tasty treats [moonshine] – oh dear!

I can assure you I am very fond of this cottage of mine – it

saves me at least 50-60 kroner annually, which in the past I 

was forced to pay in rent here in the village – Since I

cannot bear to live at home with my

father – all the piousness weighs on my chest,

which is burdened enough from before. Aavang owes

                         II

me money as well, but it would be a shame

to demand it from him, despite the fact that he has lied

to me. Wigdehl owes me a couple of hundred

kroner, if not more, but he is also too good a

friend to claim payment from despite the endowment affair

of last year, which he was partially responsible for 

(against his will, of course) due to his carelessness in repeating

a rumour that had been fabricated about me. 

Well, it is possible that I deserved to have the

endowment taken from me – I have begun to yield in this matter;  

but they could at least have

informed me about it at once, – I did not receive

any message to that effect; – for had I received

word, I would then have been able to apply for the Government

stipend, and I would have received ^it; for I have

heard two of this stipend’s committee say that

I "would" have received the government stipend straightaway,

had they not believed that I was well supported

by the stipend that I had – I waited

every day all spring and throughout the summer 

for word that I had been

granted the second portion of the stipend,

and I looked very much forward to coming down  

to Italy, which my poor lungs could

sorely benefit from. This year I am nomi-

nated for the Government stipend – but then I have

been so often before – there are 5-6 who are

nominated, and I am one of the last in line, so

I have no expectations there –. If only I

were in good health, I would go down to one of the copper

mines here in West Norway and toil like

any other labourer – so that my little wife

shall not go hungry at least as long as 

I am still alive – but I am not fit for it –

though I am tough! But in reality I am a little

ashamed with respect to my father and mother, in case they

were to find out, – that is why I will probably 

end up by leaving for America; – there one

has no one, who can gloat over ones

demise, – and there at least it

pays to toil. Well, dear friend you

must forgive my Jeremiad. This

will be the last of it for now.

For it is still wonderful to be alive; spring is here;

– the ice, which has continued to cover Jölstervandet  

and refused to either carry or break has now in an 

instant been swept away – it was a sight

to behold from my little window – if 

I only had colours and the strength to paint,

but I am so infernally tired. It is

possible, that I can borrow a little from my

father this summer – I will undoubtedly be forced

to grovel for the first time, –

I have in fact never received a red cent from him 

since I was 19 years old. He has nothing to

leave me either – for we were 14 siblings 

all together, and there have always been two

in school simultaneously, and that alone has cost ca.

2000 annually – and when he (according to the civil

servant calendar) has 2600 kroner as annual income

and 400, even as much as 500, goes towards taxes for fire

insurance (which is mandatory for priests), [towards] deposits

in the widow’s fund, the retirement fund, the funeral fund e.t.c.

(the recommendation for a civil servant loan ^for house construction

alone amounts to over 300 kroner annually)

so there isn’t much left to live on

for a large family – and in fact the entire family 

lives off the vicarage and nothing

more. The man, who had told you last year that

my father had a lucrative profession should take a look at

the civil servant calendar for clergymen, then he would

see that Jölster is listed at 2.600 – two thousand

six hundred kroner – and even if the office has

increased a bit, so that it is closer to 3000 now,

it is nevertheless far from sufficient for a large family.

You have of course heard the sad news,

that our good friend Aarstad Olsen is dead.

He died like a good heathen, thank God.

Spring is late in arriving here – it [Jølster] is high up in the mountains

the snow reaches far down throug the sides of the mountains, and not

one bud has sprung open; but on the other hand 

when the heat arrives in earnest, everything happens 

so damned quickly, too quickly. One of my 

friends among the farm boys here is leaving for 

Bergen now and will attempt, if he is allowed to

exhibit, – he will be among the "naïf painters". I imagine I will

hear from you, whether you like him, if he is

allowed to hang his pictures up in the Art Society. Live well!

Say hello to your wife from my wife and me. Your N. Astrup