Kjære Höst og frùe!

Tùsind tak for commisionen

Det var kjedeligt, at jeg skùlde

gjöre Eder saa meget bryderi

dermed – det skulde bare mangle,

at I ogsaa skùlde have ùdgifter

derfor. – Min ven er död – han

fik intet godt av flasken – han var

bleven saa daarlig, da jeg fik den, at

han ikke kùnde smage noget. Jeg

skùlde jùst se indom ham, da jeg fik

beskjed om, at maleren Wigdehl var

i telefonen og forgjæves havde sögt at

faa tag i mig – jeg gik da ind paa telefon-

stationen og talte med Wigdehl, som

ogsaa spùrgte efter min ven Aalhùs,

og medens jeg var der paa telefonstationen

fik jeg bùd om, at han netop var död da.

Wigdehl fortalte mig (saavidt jeg kùnde

forstaa ham) – (det var ikke saa greit

blandt alle de mange stemmer, som

talte i mùnden paa hinanden), Wig-

dehl fortalte altsaa, at han havde faaet

solgt 2 billeder til Rasmùs Meyer, – at

han udstillede i Bergen, – og jeg bad

ham da gaa indom Dem og hilse fra

mig. Jeg tænkte paa det siden, at det

kanske var hensynslöst gjort mod

Eder at paadùtte Eder et {…} ^bekjendtskab

som I kanske helst vilde have været

fri. Han var en hyggelig kamerat,

og vi var gode venner – han boede

ofte hos mig i Kristiania – han var

nemlig "fri for pæng" i almindelighed.

Han var ogsaa 3 aar i Jölster, og

siden den tid begyndte han saa smaat

at slaa igjennem. Han var virkelig

begavet – men han kùnde ofte

mangle forstaaelse og være rent

hensynslös – saaledes hændte det ofte,

naar jeg havde malt et billede, at han

gik hen og malede det samme motiv

ùden at tale med mig om det, – men

det kom ùdelùkkende af, at han ikke

kunde tænke sig, at jeg skùlde have

noget i mod det – han mente vel at

naturen maatte være fri for alle.

Det var jo for saa vidt rigtig – men han

brùgte ikke alene det samme styk-

ke natùr men ogsaa den samme

stemning og de samme farvevirknin-

ger – saa jeg ofte blev saa lei af at se

de to doùbletter, at jeg strög ùd mit

billede. En gang holdt jeg ham desværre

ordentlig for nar; – en dag gik jeg ud og

begyndte at male paa et billede

motiv, som var aldeles uden værd

for en maler (i allefald for mig); jeg

satte op nogen grùelig falske farve-

virkninger – og indbildte Wigdehl at dette

var et helt nyt farveprincip – man

skùlde bytte om farverne i skalaen

og brùge blaat, hvor der var grönt

i natùren – gùlt for rödt – rödt for

violet – violet for blaat og grönt for

gùlt. – Jeg var meget optaget og malte

en frygtelig violet himmel med blaa

trær og bakker, gùlt kirketaarn og

en gùl lade, röde fjelde og grönne

blomster paa marken. – Wigdehl

var rent begeistret for den nye idè

og gik paa limpinden – han sveded

i 8 'dage for at bringe det nye

system i anvendelse – men fandt

da klogelig ùd, at ingen vilde kjöbe

de nye kunstværker, som blev alt for

"moderne". For at gjöre mit pùds

godt igjen hjalp jeg ham senere ofte

med vanskeligheder i hans andre billeder.

Aavang gjorde forresten akùrat det

samme som Wigdehl overfor mine

motiver i de 2 aar han var her, Frost

Frost derimod aldrig; – i de 2 aar han

var her, malte han aldrig en eneste

II

gang et motiv, som jeg havde malt

– han havde en sand rædsel for

at male et motiv, som andre havde

malt för – derimod forsögte jeg en-

gang at male et motiv, som Frost

havde malt, men jeg forstod snart, at

det var ùmùligt at male efter et

motiv, som en anden havde benyttet

för, ùden at komme for nær ind

paa det maleri, man engang havde

seet af samme motiv – jeg opgav

det derfor. Her er jo motiver nok

i verden – saa man behövede jo aldrig

at male noget, som en anden har 

malt för.

  Jeg længes efter at faa begynde at

male igjen, men det gaar sent med

at blive frisk – jeg havde ^en god periode

med ordentlig sövn nogle dage; men

nù har jeg kvælningsanfaldene igjen hver

nat – maven er hveranden dag nogen-

lùnde bra – og hveranden dag yderst slet. 

Om der blir nogen udstilling i Bergen

til vaaren, – saa har jeg dog intet at

ùdstille – og selv om jeg blev saa

frisk, at jeg fik malt noget i vaar,

saa maler jeg saa sent, at det blev

ikke mere end i höiden et par billeder.

Havde jeg kùnnet faa istand en udstil-

ling i Christiania nù straks, kùnde

jeg kanske havt haab om at faa et stipendi-

ùm; – men det koster saa meget

at laane ùd og holde udstilling uden

at have noget at sælge – saa jeg faar

nok vente til hösten – det kjedeligste

er at da er alle stipendier bortgivne

paa de sedvanlige 2 aar, – men jeg faar

smörre mig med taalmodighed –

jeg maa vel faa malt et par bil-

leder ivaar, som kan skaffe mig

saa vidt mynt at jeg klarer mig

sommeren over – men pengene gaar

fort, enda jeg ingen farver brùger for-

tiden – men saa har jeg ordnet Engels

livspolice for i aar – og kjöbt ind lidt

materialer til forbedring af min hytte og

betalt mine ved-regninger, meierireg-

ninger, men skylder min kolonial-

handler, samt skrædder og skat (jeg

har nemlig over 21 kr. i skat).

Ja i Bergen begynder man vel alle-

rede at mærke lidt af vaarens

nærhed – her ligger sneen alle

steder – her er ikke engang en

skidden vei efter et sneskred i fjel-

dene, som öiet kunde fryde sig ved.

Men jeg haaber, at jeg engang skal

faa anledning at male mit sne-

skred motiv opigjen i större maale-

stok – den lille skisse (hos Rasmùs

Meyer) giver ikke tilnærmelses vis den

vældige stemning, som kan være over

et sligt motiv en raa aprilmorgen,

naar det smelder og raser i fjeldene,

og alt er dissonancer – de friskröde

morgenskyer og den skiddengùle vei efter

sneskredene – det svartviolette op-

rörte vand mod den zart blegröde sne

og himmelblaa luft – og skyernes

rosa skjimmer i vandet mod rent

svarte og brùne trær og melkegraa sne

i forgrùnden. Det var en ren symfoni

af dissonancer – bare man kùnde klare

<dem>; – jeg blev rent skamfùld, da jeg

fik se skissen igjen hos Rasmùs

Meyer og saa, hvor daarlig jeg havde 

klaret det hele – jeg havde nemlig

hele billedet meget bedre i hovedet; men

saa malte jeg ogsaa det lille billede

i den den halvmörke morgendæmring

efter en lang natterangel. Jeg har saa

mange motiver – saa meget paa hjærtet –

jeg tror jeg maa tage mig en tùr ind til Dem

Höst nù i vaar og ùnderhandle ^med og raadspörge

Dem, hvilke motiver, jeg först maa faa fra

mig; – thi jeg faar selvfölgelig aldrig malt

halvdelen i min levetid. Atter hjærtelig

tak for commissionen. Vedlagt 5 kr. for Eders

ùdlæg. Hjærteligste hilsen fra Eders 

N. Astrup

Konvolutt, framside:

Til

Hr. Overlærer Sigùrd Höst

Welhavens gade 30

Bergen

    Dear Höst and Mrs.!

Many thanks for the commission

I’m sorry that I caused

You so much trouble

because of it – it is no surprise,

that You also have expenses

on account of it. – My friend is dead – he

had no benefit from the bottle – he had

become so ill, by the time I received it, that

he could not imbibe anything. I 

was just about to visit him, when I received

word, that the painter Wigdehl was

on the phone and had tried in vain

to get hold of me – so I went into the telephone

station and spoke with Wigdehl, who

also asked about my friend Aalhùs,

and while I was there at the telephone station

I received the message, that he had just died.

Wigdehl told me (as far as I could

make out) – (it was not so easy

amidst all the many voices, that

were speaking at the same time), anyway Wig-

dehl told me, that he had 

sold 2 pictures to Rasmùs Meyer, – which

he had exhibited in Bergen, – and so I asked

him to pay You a visit and say hello from

me. I thought about it since, that it

was perhaps an inconsiderate towards

You to push on You an {…} ^acquaintance

whom You might have preferred not to

see. He was a nice fellow,

and we were good friends – he often

stayed with me in Kristiania [Oslo] – he was

"out of cash" more often than not.

He also spent 3 years in Jölster, and

since then he began to gradually

have a breakthrough. He was truly

gifted – but he could often

lack awareness and be quite

ruthless – thus it happened often,

when I had painted a picture, that he

went off and painted the same motif

without telling me about it, – but

it was only because he could

not imagine, that I would have

anything against it – he presumably believed that

nature must be free for everyone.

That was true in a sense – but he

did not only use the same seg-

ment of nature but also the same

atmosphere and the same colour

scheme – so that I often became so tired of seeing

the two duplicates, that I wiped out my

picture. One time I regrettably made a

real fool of him; – one day I went out and

began to paint a picture

motif, that was completely worthless

for a painter (at least for me); I

mixed some terribly wrong colour 

compositions – and persuaded Wigdehl that this

was a totally new colour theory – one 

should switch the colours in the spectrum

and use blue, where there was green

in nature – yellow for red – red for

violet – violet for blue and green for

yellow. – I was very busy and painted

a hideous mauve sky with blue

trees and slopes, a yellow church spire and

a yellow barn, red mountains and green

flowers in the field. – Wigdehl

was greatly enthused about the new idea

and fell for the ruse – he sweated

for 8 days to learn how to implement

the new system – but came to the

wise conclusion that no one would buy

the new artworks, which were too

'modern'. In order to make up for

my prank I often helped him later on

with difficulties in his other pictures.

Aavang incidentally did exactly the

same as Wigdehl with regard to my

motifs during the 2 years he was here, Frost

Frost on the other hand never; – during the 2 years he

was here, he never once painted 

II

a motif that I had painted

– he had a genuine fear of

painting a motif, that someone else had

already painted – on the other hand I tried

once to paint a motif that Frost

had painted, but I soon understood, that

it was impossible to paint after a

motif that someone else had already

done, without coming too close

to the painting, one had once

seen of the same motif – I therefore

gave it up. There are more than enough motifs

in the world – so that one never needs

to paint something, that another has 

painted before.

  I yearn to begin 

painting again, but it takes time to

recover – I had ^a good period

with sound sleep for a few days; but

now I have choking seizures again every

night – my stomach is somewhat good

every other day – and extremely unwell the other days. 

If there will be an exhibition in Bergen

in the spring, – then I will not have anything

to show – and even if I became well enough

to manage to paint something this spring,

I paint so slowly, that it would not result

in more than a couple of pictures at most.

Had I been able to put together an exhi-

bition in Christiania [Oslo] right now, I would

perhaps have the hope of getting a sti-

pend; – but it costs so much

to loan and mount an exhibition without

having anything to sell – so I will have

to wait until the fall – the problem with 

that is that by then all the stipends will be given away

for the standard 2 years, – but I must

be patient –

I will have to paint a few pic-

tures this spring, which can fetch me

enough cash so that I can make do 

through the summer – but money disappears

fast, even though I am not using any paints at

present – but then I have taken care of Engel’s

life insurance for this year – purchased some

lumber in preparation for my cabin and

paid my firewood bills, dairy

bills, but owe my grocer

and tailor and taxes (I

have more than 21 kroner in taxes).

Well in Bergen you must already

be noticing the approaching

spring – here the snow lies

everywhere – here there isn’t even a

dirtied road after an avalanche in the moun-

tains, which the eye could find pleasure in.

But I hope, that I one day shall

have the opportunity to paint my ava-

lanche motif again on a larger 

scale – the little sketch (in Rasmùs

Meyer’s possession) does not come close to conveying the

monumental atmosphere that can permeate

such a motif on a raw April morning,

when there is a rumbling and cascading in the mountains,

and all is dissonance – the bright red

morning clouds and the dirty yellow road after

the avalanche – the purplish-black churn-

ing water against the soft pink snow

and sky-blue air – and the clouds’

pink sheen in the water against pure

black and brown trees and milky-grey snow

in the foreground. It was a veritable symphony

of dissonances – if only one could convey

<them>; – I became so mortified, when I

saw the sketch again in Rasmus

Meyer’s home and saw, how poorly I had 

depicted it all – for I had the

entire image much more clearly in my head; but

then again I had painted the little picture

in the semi-dark early dawn

after a long night of carousing. I have so

many motifs – so much I am yearning to do –

I think I must make a trip in to see You

now this spring Höst to negotiate ^with and consult

You about which motifs I need to get done

first; – for I will of course never manage to paint

half of them in my lifetime. Again thank you

very much for the commission. Enclosed 5 kroner for Your

outlay. Warmest wishes from Your 

N. Astrup

Envelope, front:

To

Mr. Headmaster Sigùrd Höst

Welhavens gade 30

Bergen