Letter

Astrup, Nikolai to Høst, Isabella
1919-11-07

Transcription:

Turid Hagelsteen

Translation:

Francesca Nichols

Page

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Transcription
Translation

Letter

Astrup, Nikolai to Høst, Isabella
1919-11-07
Brevs.531-66486, Nasjonalbiblioteket

8 Pages

Transcription: Turid Hagelsteen

Translation: Francesca Nichols

Transcription

Kjære frù Höst!

Jeg har saa længe tænkt paa, at saasnart

jeg blev saapas frisk, vilde jeg skrive

til Dem; – jeg har nemlig været syk siden

begyndelsen af aùgùst; – saa syk har jeg

aldrig været; – naar jeg ikke har kjæm-

pet en fortvivlet dödskamp (ofte dögnet

rùndt), – saa har jeg ligget i en "dös"

af feber og udmattelse; – feber har jeg nù 

havt lige siden "den spanske", – men alt 

havde kanske gaaet godt, om jeg havde

kommet mig afsted i slutten af aùgùst, som 

jeg var bestemt paa; men jeg beregnede ikke

at de "voldsomme" asthma-anfald skùlde

komme saa tidligt iaar og blive saa

haarde, – det var jo ogsaa en raa höst

på vestlandet iaar, – 9 ùger regn uten stans;

vi har jo ogsaa her den störste nedbör i landet

(ved Nedre Vasenden, Jölster), – ja det har været

en frygtelig tid for mig; – jeg forstaar ikke, at

hjærtet har holdt ùd den frygtelige

sprængning ùnder kvælningsanfaldene; –

ödelagt af jodkaliùm og nafta har det

dog arbeidet som en motor, – indtil

jeg har været saa lykkelig at tabe bevidst-

heden, vaad af sved og blod; – blodet 

sprætter nemlig ud i hùden, – naar jeg næsten

er kvalt, – og efterlader flekker, saa jeg

lignede börnene; nù da de havde "mæslin-

gerne"; – de er forresten daarlige endnù –

forkjölelses-eftersygdomme – særlig Arnold

som blör "næseblod" næsten hver dag og nat

ligesom ùnder "den spanske" – han ser bleg

og elendig ùd, – han var bleven saa frisk

og kjæk i sommer, og alle fremmede som var

her, – særlig damerne, – syntes han var en slig

"pen gut", tiltrods for at han paafaldende

ligner sin stygge fader. Kari har nù 

snart gaaet et aar i skolen (9 aar), – hùn

er saa ivrig at komme afsted tidligt om 

morgenen trods veir og vind og ¼ mils skole-

vei – ofte i ùplöiet sne; – hùn holder sig vel

tynd og lang – vokser sterkt; – og Petra Turid er 

liden som en dùkke men altid frisk og var

færdig med baade "den spanske" og mæslingerne

paa to dage; – Christian Eirik har været en 

"kjæmpe" fra födselen af, og han holdt paa  

at antage "faretruende dimensioner" lige

til nù, han fik mæslingerne, – siden har

han minket, – han var faldt ud av vùggen

en morgen og laa naken paa et koldt gulv,

til han var rent blaafrossen, men da skrek 

han ogsaa, – saa Engel hörte det helt oppe i

fjöset, hvor hùn stelte kjörene, – vi har nem-

lig ikke kùnnet opdrive nogen tjenestepike

for tiden, og Engel maa være bùdeie, og det

er ikke saa greit, naar hùn har en syk

mand, som ligger i sengen og ikke kan tjene

en skilling, – og en sint ùnge, som kravler

paa gùlvet og aldrig er tilfreds, ùndtagen 

naar han kan faa tag i katten og slide den

næsten i stykker, saa den skriker gudsjammerlig,

da ler skjælmen og prygler lös paa katten,

det maa være bedstefar – hestehandleren, – som 

gaar igjen i den gùtten, – samme bedstefar

döde forresten for en ùge siden, – og Engel

maatte aftsted i en frygtelig kulde i sin fars be-

gravelse – det var forresten ikke noget "sorga-

lik" – tröstede hùn sig med; – han var forresten 

en brav mand og fik den skjeldne atest, at

han var "den eneste hestehandler, som "reiste"

fra fjordene til Gjövik, ùden at "snyde"; – 

derfor döde han ogsaa som en fattig mand, – 

tiltrods for at han oprindelig havde tre af de 

störste gaarde i bygden; – heste var hans 

lidenskab, og han maatte "reise", om han end

skulde forsömme gaard og familie.

Jeg havde vistnok nettop skrevet til Dem, 

da jeg blev syk – og fik Deres brev under 

et af mine værste anfald, – tusend tak for 

brevet! – Onsagers ùdtalelser bùrde jo vir-

ket stimùlerende; – ja takk ham tùsend gan-

ge – fra mig, – hvis De korresponderer med

ham; han er da en af de faa, som end-

nù vover at tale ud fra sit hjærte, – de an-

dre er jo bare kritik og videnskabelighed; –

men gaa dem efter i sömmene, – saa opgiver

de hurtigt videnskaben – og bevæger sig i et

"höiere plan", hvor 2 + 2 ikke er 4, og da

er de ùkontrolerbare – og det har da intet

at sige, om de tager feil i de simpleste ele-

II

mentære grùnd-sætninger (Grande). Onsager er

vel nù længst reist til Italien, – har De 

hans adresse? Jeg skùlde nok have stor 

lyst til at se Eùropas taaspids, men ellers

tror jeg ikke paa, at jeg vil have noget

ùdbytte af Italien, – renæssancen har

ingensomhelst betydning for mig, – den er

bare at fortabe sig i, – som man kan for-

tabe sig i dùrk drevne romaner. –

Ja der er selvfölgelig meget andet at se

end bare renæssancen i Italien, – men 

det er saaledes jeg endnù forestiller mig kunsten i

Italien: en gammel decadent kunst og en 

moderne endnù mere decadent kùnst. Jeg 

havde mest lyst at se rùssisk kùnst, og saa

först og fremst galleriet i Wien, – med Brùghel

– men der er vel begge steder endnù for uro-

ligt efter krigen og revolutionerne. Det

blir da Spanien, som stadig vinker, – men det

koster jo saa ùrimeligt meget at reise; – jeg er

ikke saa heldig som Krantz at have en Kleppe 

i baghaanden, – han reiser nù med ham gratis

og er for tiden i Paris. – Jeg ùndres paa

om Konsul Joachim Grieg for et eller 

to billeder vilde lade mig og Engel og 

to af barna faa fölge en af

hans laste-baater til Spanien? – tror De

jeg tör spörge ham derom? – – – 

   Vi er jo lidt "nedfor" i ökonomisk hen-

seende, – særlig paa grùnd af min langva-

rige sygdom nù i höst og vinter – og dyr-

tiden trykker – (iallefald os) – haardere nù 

end ùnder krigen; – (ja tror De ikke Engel

fik mig ogsaa til at "jobbe" lidt paa

slùtten), – det gik med vor aktie som

med Deres rùssiske skog; – det blev tab;

men jeg ahnede nedgangen i tide og solgte

slig, at jeg kùn tabte 10 pct. – saa jeg var

heldig i ùheldet – jeg pleier ellers altid at

være heldig, naar jeg vover noget, – særlig for 

andre, – saaledes kjöbte jeg en gaard paa Os for

en svoger – (han havde ikke tillid til andre end

mig – og vovede intet selv), – nù solgte han den

for næsten det tredobbelte, af hvad jeg gav for gaarden

paa hans vegne, – og dertil havde han i mellemtiden

næsten "hùgget ud" den tømmerskog, som fulgte med 

gaarden. Min lille gaard her kùnde jeg ogsaa

solgt nù i sommer for det doble, af hvad jeg 

gav, – men jeg har jo nedlagt meget arbeide

paa den, – og har nù i dyrtiden maattet laane

paa den, saa jeg eiede intet, hvis jeg nù solgte.

Forresten har min glæde ved vort lille hjem 

faaet en alvorlig knæk i höst: – en stormnat 

kom en "kastevind" ned fra fjeldet – (her er ellers 

et af de lùneste steder i bygden) og min kjære 

hægg klövnede, og næsten halvdelen faldt til 

jorden; – ved stor "folkehjælp" og taug fik

jeg endel heiset op igjen og bùndet nogen-

lunde i sin oprindelige stilling, – og slig staar 

den, – medens jeg spekulerer paa, om jeg skal span-

dere en kjetting paa den, – eller bore en jern-

stang igjennem den og skrùe delene sammen – 

eller om jeg simpelthen skal "lade falde". –

En anden ting, som ogsaa har berövet mig næsten

all glæde ved stedet er haren – i mange aar 

har jeg fört en ùafladelig kamp med den, – den öde-

lagde i de förste aar, jeg var her, næsten alle mine ny-

plantede frùgttrær – over 200, – jeg fik nye trær som 

for störste delen ogsaa blev opspist af det bæstet;

men jeg klarte da at redde nogle faa trær (50-60) 

og fik nogle nye igjen og ved stadige indpakninger i

de förste aar (et forfærdeligt arbeide) og ved stadige forbed-

ringer af gjærdet i de senere aar, – klarte jeg at berge

en del af trærene, – indtil de nù ved godt stell

var begyndt at bære frùgt, – og börnene, – særlig

Arnold, – havde stor glæde af dem; – og saa kom-

mer haren – det svinet – og spiser all barken 

af trærene, saa de stod der saa uhyggelig barbenede

i sneen, at jeg ikke orkede at se paa det, men 

huggede dem ned förste dag, jeg var istand til at være 

oppe. All den skade, den haren har gjort

mig kan ikke beregnes i penge, – endskjønt det

gaar op i et par tùsend bare i directe tab, – vær-

re er det med tiden; – man blir gammel og ven-

ter sig frugt af sit slid i ùngdommen, – og saa

er alt ödelagt paa et par nætter, – bare fordi

der var bleven en liden aabning i gjærdet, – 

forresten hopper haren over alskens gjærder, naar

den först har faaet smag paa noget godt; – jeg har

dog endelig opnaaet, at komùnen har gjort

den "fredlös" for all dens ödelæggelse paa aker, 

eng, gröntsaker, frugttrær og ùngskog (særlig fùrù).

Vidste jeg nù bare et sted paa sydligere breddegrader,

hvor man for rimelig pris kùnde faa kjöbe en hùstomt,

saa skùlde jeg bygge der og forlade dette sted, – eller

bare være her en tùr om vaaren og sommeren. Nei nù

har jeg som sedvanlig plaget Dem med meget slùdder. De

maa hilse HöstEngel beder hilse hjærteligst (hùn

er sterkt forkjölet) Med bedste hilsen 

Deres hengivne Astrup

Translation

Dear Mrs. Höst!

I have for a long time planned, that as soon as

I am well enough, I will write

to You; – I have in fact been ill since

the beginning of August; – I have never been

this sick before; – when I was not in 

a desperate life-and-death struggle (often around

the clock), – I have been lying in bed in a "daze"

of fever and exhaustion; – the fever I have

had ever since "the Spanish flu", – but everything

might have gone well, had I

been able to get away at the end of August, which

I had planned to do; but I did not expect

the "violent" asthma attacks to

come so early this year and to be so

severe, – it has been a raw autumn

in West Norway this year, – 9 weeks of rain without a break;

we have had the greatest amount of precipitation in the country here

(in Nedre Vasenden, Jölster), – well it has been

a terrible time for me; – I don’t understand, how

my heart has withstood the frightfully

explosive choking fits; –

destroyed by potassium iodide and ether it has

nevertheless functioned like clockwork, – until

I have been so lucky as to lose con-

ciousness, soaked in sweat and blood; – the blood 

pushes through the skin you see, – when I am nearly

strangulated, – leaving spots, so that I

resemble the children; now when they had "the mea-

sles"; – they are still sick incidentally –

secondary illness after colds – especially Arnold

who has "nosebleeds" nearly every day and night

just as during "the Spanish flu" – he is pale

and looks terrible, – he had been so healthy

and lively this summer, and all the foreigners who were

here, – especially the women, – thought he was such a

"handsome boy", despite the fact that he noticeably

resembles his ugly father. Kari has now

soon completed one year in school (9 years), – she

is so eager to leave early in 

the morning in all kinds of weather on the 2 ½ km walk

to school – often in unploughed snow; – she remains rather too

thin and tall – is growing fast; – and Petra Turid is 

as little as a doll but always healthy and was

over both "the Spanish flue" and the measles

in two days; – Christian Eirik has been a 

"giant" from the day he was born, and he was in the process 

of assuming "threatening dimensions" up

until now, he came down with the measles, – and since

has diminished in size, – he had fallen out of his crib

one morning and lay naked on the cold floor,

until he was quite blue from the cold, but then he 

shrieked, – so Engel heard it all the way up in 

the barn, where she was tending the cows, – we have 

not been able to get hold of a maid

lately, and Engel has to function as the dairymaid, and it

is not so easy, when she has a sick

husband, who lies in bed and cannot earn

a shilling, – and an angry child, who crawls

on the floor and is never happy, except 

when he can get hold of the cat and tires it

nearly to pieces, so that it howls pitifully,

then the imp laughs and beats the cat, 

it must be grandfather – the horse dealer, – who 

lives on in the boy, – the same grandfather

died a week ago incidentally, – and Engel

had to leave in the freezing cold for her father’s fu-

neral – at least there was no "funeral

wake" – she consoled herself; – he was incidentally 

a good man and earned the rare tribute, of

being "the only horse dealer, who "travelled"

from the fjords to Gjövik, without "swindling"; – 

he consequently died a poor man, – 

despite the fact that he originally had three of the  

biggest farms in the village; – horses were his 

passion, and he had to "travel", even if it

meant neglecting farm and family.

I believe I had only just written to You 

when I became ill – and received Your letter during 

one of my worst attacks, – many thanks for 

Your letter! – Onsager’s remarks should have

a stimulating effect; – well thank him pro-

fusely – from me, – if You correspond with

him; he is one of the few, who still

dares to speak from his heart, – the oth-

ers are all about criticism and academic discipline; –

but if you begin to scrutinize them, – then they

soon give up the academic discipline– and move to a more

"elevated plane", where 2 + 2 is not 4, and then

it is not possible to cross-examine them – and it makes no

difference, if they make a mistake in the simplest ele-

II

mentary sentence structure (Grande). Onsager has

departed long ago for Italy by now, – do You 

have his address? I would really 

love to see Europe’s toe, but otherwise

I don’t think, that I would benefit

much from Italy, – the Renaissance does

not have any significance whatsoever for me, – one can

only submerge oneself in it, – as one can sub-

merge oneself in entertainment novels. –

Well there is of course much more to see

than the Renaissance in Italy, – but 

this is how I still imagine the art in

Italy: an old decadent art and an 

even more decadent modern art. I

had wanted to see Russian art more than any, and then

first and foremost the gallery in Vienna, – with Brùghel

– but both places are still too troubled to visit

after the war and the revolutions. It is

thus Spain, that continues to summon, – but it

is so unreasonably expensive to travel; – I am

not as fortunate as Krantz to have a Kleppe 

to rely on, – he is travelling with him now gratis

and is in Paris at present. – I wonder

if Consul Joachim Grieg for one or 

two pictures would allow me and Engel and 

two of the children to accompany one of

his cargo ships to Spain? – do You

think I dare ask him about it? – – – 

   We are a bit "despondent" in terms

of finances, – especially because of my long

illness this autumn and winter – and the high cost

of living weighs – (at least on us) – more heavily now 

than during the war; – (well wouldn’t You know Engel

got me to "work" a little in

the end), – our stock ended as 

did Your Russian forest; – at a loss;

but I suspected the fall in time and sold

so, that I only lost 10 pct. – so I was

fortunate in the midst of misfortune – I am usually always

lucky otherwise, when I risk something, – especially for 

others, – as when I bought a farm in Os for 

a brother-in-law – (he did not trust anyone other than

me – and did not dare to himself), – now he sold it

for almost three times, what I gave for the farm

on his behalf, – and in addition he had in the meantime

nearly "hewed clean" the timber forest, that came with

the farm. My little farm here I might also have

sold this summer for twice, what I 

gave, – but I have put so much work

into it, – and have had during these times of inflation to borrow

on it, so I would not own anything, if I sold it now.

By the way my pleasure in our little home has

received a serious blow this autumn: – one stormy night 

a "squall" came down from the mountain – (otherwise ours is

one of the mildest spots in the village) and my precious 

bird cherry was cleaved in two, and nearly half fell to 

the ground; – with significant "humanitarian aid" and ropes I

managed to lift it up and secure it more or

less in its original position, – and there it 

stands, – while I speculate on, whether I will get

a chain for it, – or drive an iron 

post through it and screw the parts together – 

or whether I will simply "let it fall". –

Another thing, that has nearly robbed me of

all my happiness is the hare – for many years 

I have fought an endless battle with it, – it de-

stroyed during the first years, I was here, nearly all of my newly

planted fruit trees – over 200, – I obtained new trees which 

for the most part were also chewed up by the beast;

but I managed to rescue a few trees (50-60) 

and obtained a few new ones again and by continuously wrapping them

during the first years (a taxing job) and by continuously im-

proving the fence in recent years, – I managed to rescue

a number of trees, – until now with careful nurturing they

had begun to bear fruit, – and the children, – in particular

Arnold, – derived great pleasure from them; – and then the

hare arrives – that swine – and chews all the bark 

off the trees, so that they stood there so unbearably barefoot

in the snow, that I couldn’t bare the sight of it, and 

chopped them down the first day, I was capable of rising

out of bed. All that damage, the hare has caused

me cannot be calculated in money, – even though it

amounts to a couple of thousand in direct losses alone, – what

is worse is the time; – one gets older and ex-

pects to reap the fruit from the labour of one’s youth, – and then

all is destroyed in a couple of nights, – just because

a little opening had been made in the fence, – 

incidentally the hare jumps over all sorts of fences, once

it has gotten a taste of something good; – I have

on the other hand finally convinced the municipality to declare

it "an outlaw" for all the destruction it wreaks in fields, 

meadows, vegetables, fruit trees and young forests (especially pine).

If only I knew of a place at a more southern latitude,

where one for a reasonable price might purchase a plot of land,

then I would build there and abandon this place, – or

only make a trip here during the spring and summer. Well now

I have as usual bothered You with so much nonsense. You

must say hello to HöstEngel sends her warmest greetings (she

has a bad cold) With best wishes 

Your devoted Astrup