Letter
8 Pages
Transcription: Turid Hagelsteen
Translation: Francesca Nichols
Transcription
Kjære frù Höst!
Jeg har saa længe tænkt paa, at saasnart
jeg blev saapas frisk, vilde jeg skrive
til Dem; – jeg har nemlig været syk siden
begyndelsen af aùgùst; – saa syk har jeg
aldrig været; – naar jeg ikke har kjæm-
pet en fortvivlet dödskamp (ofte dögnet
rùndt), – saa har jeg ligget i en "dös"
af feber og udmattelse; – feber har jeg nù
havt lige siden "den spanske", – men alt
havde kanske gaaet godt, om jeg havde
kommet mig afsted i slutten af aùgùst, som
jeg var bestemt paa; men jeg beregnede ikke
at de "voldsomme" asthma-anfald skùlde
komme saa tidligt iaar og blive saa
haarde, – det var jo ogsaa en raa höst
på vestlandet iaar, – 9 ùger regn uten stans;
vi har jo ogsaa her den störste nedbör i landet
(ved Nedre Vasenden, Jölster), – ja det har været
en frygtelig tid for mig; – jeg forstaar ikke, at
hjærtet har holdt ùd den frygtelige
sprængning ùnder kvælningsanfaldene; –
ödelagt af jodkaliùm og nafta har det
dog arbeidet som en motor, – indtil
jeg har været saa lykkelig at tabe bevidst-
heden, vaad af sved og blod; – blodet
sprætter nemlig ud i hùden, – naar jeg næsten
er kvalt, – og efterlader flekker, saa jeg
lignede börnene; nù da de havde "mæslin-
gerne"; – de er forresten daarlige endnù –
forkjölelses-eftersygdomme – særlig Arnold
som blör "næseblod" næsten hver dag og nat
ligesom ùnder "den spanske" – han ser bleg
og elendig ùd, – han var bleven saa frisk
og kjæk i sommer, og alle fremmede som var
her, – særlig damerne, – syntes han var en slig
"pen gut", tiltrods for at han paafaldende
ligner sin stygge fader. Kari har nù
snart gaaet et aar i skolen (9 aar), – hùn
er saa ivrig at komme afsted tidligt om
morgenen trods veir og vind og ¼ mils skole-
vei – ofte i ùplöiet sne; – hùn holder sig vel
tynd og lang – vokser sterkt; – og Petra Turid er
liden som en dùkke men altid frisk og var
færdig med baade "den spanske" og mæslingerne
paa to dage; – Christian Eirik har været en
"kjæmpe" fra födselen af, og han holdt paa
at antage "faretruende dimensioner" lige
til nù, han fik mæslingerne, – siden har
han minket, – han var faldt ud av vùggen
en morgen og laa naken paa et koldt gulv,
til han var rent blaafrossen, men da skrek
han ogsaa, – saa Engel hörte det helt oppe i
fjöset, hvor hùn stelte kjörene, – vi har nem-
lig ikke kùnnet opdrive nogen tjenestepike
for tiden, og Engel maa være bùdeie, og det
er ikke saa greit, naar hùn har en syk
mand, som ligger i sengen og ikke kan tjene
en skilling, – og en sint ùnge, som kravler
paa gùlvet og aldrig er tilfreds, ùndtagen
naar han kan faa tag i katten og slide den
næsten i stykker, saa den skriker gudsjammerlig,
da ler skjælmen og prygler lös paa katten,
det maa være bedstefar – hestehandleren, – som
gaar igjen i den gùtten, – samme bedstefar
döde forresten for en ùge siden, – og Engel
maatte aftsted i en frygtelig kulde i sin fars be-
gravelse – det var forresten ikke noget "sorga-
lik" – tröstede hùn sig med; – han var forresten
en brav mand og fik den skjeldne atest, at
han var "den eneste hestehandler, som "reiste"
fra fjordene til Gjövik, ùden at "snyde"; –
derfor döde han ogsaa som en fattig mand, –
tiltrods for at han oprindelig havde tre af de
störste gaarde i bygden; – heste var hans
lidenskab, og han maatte "reise", om han end
skulde forsömme gaard og familie.
Jeg havde vistnok nettop skrevet til Dem,
da jeg blev syk – og fik Deres brev under
et af mine værste anfald, – tusend tak for
brevet! – Onsagers ùdtalelser bùrde jo vir-
ket stimùlerende; – ja takk ham tùsend gan-
ge – fra mig, – hvis De korresponderer med
ham; han er da en af de faa, som end-
nù vover at tale ud fra sit hjærte, – de an-
dre er jo bare kritik og videnskabelighed; –
men gaa dem efter i sömmene, – saa opgiver
de hurtigt videnskaben – og bevæger sig i et
"höiere plan", hvor 2 + 2 ikke er 4, og da
er de ùkontrolerbare – og det har da intet
at sige, om de tager feil i de simpleste ele-
II
mentære grùnd-sætninger (Grande). Onsager er
vel nù længst reist til Italien, – har De
hans adresse? Jeg skùlde nok have stor
lyst til at se Eùropas taaspids, men ellers
tror jeg ikke paa, at jeg vil have noget
ùdbytte af Italien, – renæssancen har
ingensomhelst betydning for mig, – den er
bare at fortabe sig i, – som man kan for-
tabe sig i dùrk drevne romaner. –
Ja der er selvfölgelig meget andet at se
end bare renæssancen i Italien, – men
det er saaledes jeg endnù forestiller mig kunsten i
Italien: en gammel decadent kunst og en
moderne endnù mere decadent kùnst. Jeg
havde mest lyst at se rùssisk kùnst, og saa
först og fremst galleriet i Wien, – med Brùghel
– men der er vel begge steder endnù for uro-
ligt efter krigen og revolutionerne. Det
blir da Spanien, som stadig vinker, – men det
koster jo saa ùrimeligt meget at reise; – jeg er
ikke saa heldig som Krantz at have en Kleppe
i baghaanden, – han reiser nù med ham gratis
og er for tiden i Paris. – Jeg ùndres paa
om Konsul Joachim Grieg for et eller
to billeder vilde lade mig og Engel og
to af barna faa fölge en af
hans laste-baater til Spanien? – tror De
jeg tör spörge ham derom? – – –
Vi er jo lidt "nedfor" i ökonomisk hen-
seende, – særlig paa grùnd af min langva-
rige sygdom nù i höst og vinter – og dyr-
tiden trykker – (iallefald os) – haardere nù
end ùnder krigen; – (ja tror De ikke Engel
fik mig ogsaa til at "jobbe" lidt paa
slùtten), – det gik med vor aktie som
med Deres rùssiske skog; – det blev tab;
men jeg ahnede nedgangen i tide og solgte
slig, at jeg kùn tabte 10 pct. – saa jeg var
heldig i ùheldet – jeg pleier ellers altid at
være heldig, naar jeg vover noget, – særlig for
andre, – saaledes kjöbte jeg en gaard paa Os for
en svoger – (han havde ikke tillid til andre end
mig – og vovede intet selv), – nù solgte han den
for næsten det tredobbelte, af hvad jeg gav for gaarden
paa hans vegne, – og dertil havde han i mellemtiden
næsten "hùgget ud" den tømmerskog, som fulgte med
gaarden. Min lille gaard her kùnde jeg ogsaa
solgt nù i sommer for det doble, af hvad jeg
gav, – men jeg har jo nedlagt meget arbeide
paa den, – og har nù i dyrtiden maattet laane
paa den, saa jeg eiede intet, hvis jeg nù solgte.
Forresten har min glæde ved vort lille hjem
faaet en alvorlig knæk i höst: – en stormnat
kom en "kastevind" ned fra fjeldet – (her er ellers
et af de lùneste steder i bygden) og min kjære
hægg klövnede, og næsten halvdelen faldt til
jorden; – ved stor "folkehjælp" og taug fik
jeg endel heiset op igjen og bùndet nogen-
lunde i sin oprindelige stilling, – og slig staar
den, – medens jeg spekulerer paa, om jeg skal span-
dere en kjetting paa den, – eller bore en jern-
stang igjennem den og skrùe delene sammen –
eller om jeg simpelthen skal "lade falde". –
En anden ting, som ogsaa har berövet mig næsten
all glæde ved stedet er haren – i mange aar
har jeg fört en ùafladelig kamp med den, – den öde-
lagde i de förste aar, jeg var her, næsten alle mine ny-
plantede frùgttrær – over 200, – jeg fik nye trær som
for störste delen ogsaa blev opspist af det bæstet;
men jeg klarte da at redde nogle faa trær (50-60)
og fik nogle nye igjen og ved stadige indpakninger i
de förste aar (et forfærdeligt arbeide) og ved stadige forbed-
ringer af gjærdet i de senere aar, – klarte jeg at berge
en del af trærene, – indtil de nù ved godt stell
var begyndt at bære frùgt, – og börnene, – særlig
Arnold, – havde stor glæde af dem; – og saa kom-
mer haren – det svinet – og spiser all barken
af trærene, saa de stod der saa uhyggelig barbenede
i sneen, at jeg ikke orkede at se paa det, men
huggede dem ned förste dag, jeg var istand til at være
oppe. All den skade, den haren har gjort
mig kan ikke beregnes i penge, – endskjønt det
gaar op i et par tùsend bare i directe tab, – vær-
re er det med tiden; – man blir gammel og ven-
ter sig frugt af sit slid i ùngdommen, – og saa
er alt ödelagt paa et par nætter, – bare fordi
der var bleven en liden aabning i gjærdet, –
forresten hopper haren over alskens gjærder, naar
den först har faaet smag paa noget godt; – jeg har
dog endelig opnaaet, at komùnen har gjort
den "fredlös" for all dens ödelæggelse paa aker,
eng, gröntsaker, frugttrær og ùngskog (særlig fùrù).
Vidste jeg nù bare et sted paa sydligere breddegrader,
hvor man for rimelig pris kùnde faa kjöbe en hùstomt,
saa skùlde jeg bygge der og forlade dette sted, – eller
bare være her en tùr om vaaren og sommeren. Nei nù
har jeg som sedvanlig plaget Dem med meget slùdder. De
maa hilse Höst – Engel beder hilse hjærteligst (hùn
er sterkt forkjölet) Med bedste hilsen
Deres hengivne Astrup
Translation
Dear Mrs. Höst!
I have for a long time planned, that as soon as
I am well enough, I will write
to You; – I have in fact been ill since
the beginning of August; – I have never been
this sick before; – when I was not in
a desperate life-and-death struggle (often around
the clock), – I have been lying in bed in a "daze"
of fever and exhaustion; – the fever I have
had ever since "the Spanish flu", – but everything
might have gone well, had I
been able to get away at the end of August, which
I had planned to do; but I did not expect
the "violent" asthma attacks to
come so early this year and to be so
severe, – it has been a raw autumn
in West Norway this year, – 9 weeks of rain without a break;
we have had the greatest amount of precipitation in the country here
(in Nedre Vasenden, Jölster), – well it has been
a terrible time for me; – I don’t understand, how
my heart has withstood the frightfully
explosive choking fits; –
destroyed by potassium iodide and ether it has
nevertheless functioned like clockwork, – until
I have been so lucky as to lose con-
ciousness, soaked in sweat and blood; – the blood
pushes through the skin you see, – when I am nearly
strangulated, – leaving spots, so that I
resemble the children; now when they had "the mea-
sles"; – they are still sick incidentally –
secondary illness after colds – especially Arnold
who has "nosebleeds" nearly every day and night
just as during "the Spanish flu" – he is pale
and looks terrible, – he had been so healthy
and lively this summer, and all the foreigners who were
here, – especially the women, – thought he was such a
"handsome boy", despite the fact that he noticeably
resembles his ugly father. Kari has now
soon completed one year in school (9 years), – she
is so eager to leave early in
the morning in all kinds of weather on the 2 ½ km walk
to school – often in unploughed snow; – she remains rather too
thin and tall – is growing fast; – and Petra Turid is
as little as a doll but always healthy and was
over both "the Spanish flue" and the measles
in two days; – Christian Eirik has been a
"giant" from the day he was born, and he was in the process
of assuming "threatening dimensions" up
until now, he came down with the measles, – and since
has diminished in size, – he had fallen out of his crib
one morning and lay naked on the cold floor,
until he was quite blue from the cold, but then he
shrieked, – so Engel heard it all the way up in
the barn, where she was tending the cows, – we have
not been able to get hold of a maid
lately, and Engel has to function as the dairymaid, and it
is not so easy, when she has a sick
husband, who lies in bed and cannot earn
a shilling, – and an angry child, who crawls
on the floor and is never happy, except
when he can get hold of the cat and tires it
nearly to pieces, so that it howls pitifully,
then the imp laughs and beats the cat,
it must be grandfather – the horse dealer, – who
lives on in the boy, – the same grandfather
died a week ago incidentally, – and Engel
had to leave in the freezing cold for her father’s fu-
neral – at least there was no "funeral
wake" – she consoled herself; – he was incidentally
a good man and earned the rare tribute, of
being "the only horse dealer, who "travelled"
from the fjords to Gjövik, without "swindling"; –
he consequently died a poor man, –
despite the fact that he originally had three of the
biggest farms in the village; – horses were his
passion, and he had to "travel", even if it
meant neglecting farm and family.
I believe I had only just written to You
when I became ill – and received Your letter during
one of my worst attacks, – many thanks for
Your letter! – Onsager’s remarks should have
a stimulating effect; – well thank him pro-
fusely – from me, – if You correspond with
him; he is one of the few, who still
dares to speak from his heart, – the oth-
ers are all about criticism and academic discipline; –
but if you begin to scrutinize them, – then they
soon give up the academic discipline– and move to a more
"elevated plane", where 2 + 2 is not 4, and then
it is not possible to cross-examine them – and it makes no
difference, if they make a mistake in the simplest ele-
II
mentary sentence structure (Grande). Onsager has
departed long ago for Italy by now, – do You
have his address? I would really
love to see Europe’s toe, but otherwise
I don’t think, that I would benefit
much from Italy, – the Renaissance does
not have any significance whatsoever for me, – one can
only submerge oneself in it, – as one can sub-
merge oneself in entertainment novels. –
Well there is of course much more to see
than the Renaissance in Italy, – but
this is how I still imagine the art in
Italy: an old decadent art and an
even more decadent modern art. I
had wanted to see Russian art more than any, and then
first and foremost the gallery in Vienna, – with Brùghel
– but both places are still too troubled to visit
after the war and the revolutions. It is
thus Spain, that continues to summon, – but it
is so unreasonably expensive to travel; – I am
not as fortunate as Krantz to have a Kleppe
to rely on, – he is travelling with him now gratis
and is in Paris at present. – I wonder
if Consul Joachim Grieg for one or
two pictures would allow me and Engel and
two of the children to accompany one of
his cargo ships to Spain? – do You
think I dare ask him about it? – – –
We are a bit "despondent" in terms
of finances, – especially because of my long
illness this autumn and winter – and the high cost
of living weighs – (at least on us) – more heavily now
than during the war; – (well wouldn’t You know Engel
got me to "work" a little in
the end), – our stock ended as
did Your Russian forest; – at a loss;
but I suspected the fall in time and sold
so, that I only lost 10 pct. – so I was
fortunate in the midst of misfortune – I am usually always
lucky otherwise, when I risk something, – especially for
others, – as when I bought a farm in Os for
a brother-in-law – (he did not trust anyone other than
me – and did not dare to himself), – now he sold it
for almost three times, what I gave for the farm
on his behalf, – and in addition he had in the meantime
nearly "hewed clean" the timber forest, that came with
the farm. My little farm here I might also have
sold this summer for twice, what I
gave, – but I have put so much work
into it, – and have had during these times of inflation to borrow
on it, so I would not own anything, if I sold it now.
By the way my pleasure in our little home has
received a serious blow this autumn: – one stormy night
a "squall" came down from the mountain – (otherwise ours is
one of the mildest spots in the village) and my precious
bird cherry was cleaved in two, and nearly half fell to
the ground; – with significant "humanitarian aid" and ropes I
managed to lift it up and secure it more or
less in its original position, – and there it
stands, – while I speculate on, whether I will get
a chain for it, – or drive an iron
post through it and screw the parts together –
or whether I will simply "let it fall". –
Another thing, that has nearly robbed me of
all my happiness is the hare – for many years
I have fought an endless battle with it, – it de-
stroyed during the first years, I was here, nearly all of my newly
planted fruit trees – over 200, – I obtained new trees which
for the most part were also chewed up by the beast;
but I managed to rescue a few trees (50-60)
and obtained a few new ones again and by continuously wrapping them
during the first years (a taxing job) and by continuously im-
proving the fence in recent years, – I managed to rescue
a number of trees, – until now with careful nurturing they
had begun to bear fruit, – and the children, – in particular
Arnold, – derived great pleasure from them; – and then the
hare arrives – that swine – and chews all the bark
off the trees, so that they stood there so unbearably barefoot
in the snow, that I couldn’t bare the sight of it, and
chopped them down the first day, I was capable of rising
out of bed. All that damage, the hare has caused
me cannot be calculated in money, – even though it
amounts to a couple of thousand in direct losses alone, – what
is worse is the time; – one gets older and ex-
pects to reap the fruit from the labour of one’s youth, – and then
all is destroyed in a couple of nights, – just because
a little opening had been made in the fence, –
incidentally the hare jumps over all sorts of fences, once
it has gotten a taste of something good; – I have
on the other hand finally convinced the municipality to declare
it "an outlaw" for all the destruction it wreaks in fields,
meadows, vegetables, fruit trees and young forests (especially pine).
If only I knew of a place at a more southern latitude,
where one for a reasonable price might purchase a plot of land,
then I would build there and abandon this place, – or
only make a trip here during the spring and summer. Well now
I have as usual bothered You with so much nonsense. You
must say hello to Höst – Engel sends her warmest greetings (she
has a bad cold) With best wishes
Your devoted Astrup