Kjære Höst og frùe!

Tusend tak for Deres brev og for pengene! Det glæder mig,

at Deres billede kùnde blive til en liden ökonomisk

hjælp for Eder i disse tider – men det gjör mig ondt

at höre, at I skal maatte skille Eder ogsaa med flere

andre af Eders kùnstværker – ligesaa, at I skal

reise fra vestlandet. Lad mig straks faa lov at sige,

at Deres tilbùd om senere at ville kjöbe et billede af

mig for 1500 Kr., – det takker jeg meget for, – men jeg vil,

saasnart jeg faar gjort noget virkelig kunst igjen – (jeg

er endnù ikke klar i hodet, hvad kùnsten angaar) – jeg vil

altsaa da faa lov at skaffe Eder et billede igjen af

samme störrelse for de 300 Kr., som De sendte nù – jeg

syntes det var synd at tage mod disse penge nù, da I

er i vanskelige ökonomiske omstændigheder, – men jeg er

ogsaa for tiden i slige omstændigheder og var ùnder sterkt

press da jeg sendte træsnittene til galleriet, – denne gjælden

formörker èns sind rent – det nytter ligesom ikke, hvad

man stikker i hùllerne, – nye krav staar stadig for dören

derfor tager jeg mod de 300 som et laan, indtil jeg faar skaffet

Eder et billede igjen. Det er nù disse livsforsikrings-præ-

mierne, som öger byrden mest, – det var kanske en

dùmhed af mig at assùrere mig, naar jeg maa betale

saa meget mere end andre i extrapræmier – (paa grùnd

af daarlige lùnger og "forsörger-forsikringer"), – thi det blir 

gjerne til det at jeg engang maa lade alle betalinger forfalde,

og da taber jeg alt, hvad jeg har sat ind, – det havde nær

gaaet galt med en af policerne nù i vaar, – og det

II

var Korsvolds skyld – men lad dette være mellem os, –

han kom indom mig, da jeg nettop havde trykt de to förste

tryk af "jùninat og soleier", – jeg sagde, at jeg vilde nù

sende disse to tryk til Dem, for at De kunde vælge – jeg

skyldte Dem saa meget, at jeg bùrde ogsaa gjort det –

men Korsvold protesterede derimod, og sagde at jeg bùrde

heller ordne en eller anden af mine mange gjældsposter,

– som han kjendte til, at jeg havde hos kjöbmænd i Bergen, –

jeg kom da til at nævne, at jeg havde en forfalden livs-

forsikrings police, som tyngede mig mere, – og Korsvold

tilböd sig da at löse denne for mig, mod at han fik

vælge 2 af mine træsnit, – han tog da ùd det graa af "juni-

ninat og soleier", som oprindelig var bestemt for Dem, – jeg

troede De vilde like det bedst. Korsvold vilde telegrafere

til sin forretning i Bergen og ordne policen og fik ogsaa

laane min hest og dreng, som reiste til telegrafstationen

med to telegrammer fra Korsvold; – dermed troede jeg den

sag vel bevaret, – jeg havde ikke samvittigheds skrupler

ved at lade manden betale dette for mig; thi han fik fùld

valùtta for sine penge, – desùden skyldte han mig det

doble belöb forùd, – fra engang han skulde ordne nogen

gjæld for mig i Bergen, og betalte sin egen i steden. Ja slig

gik det vel ogsaa denne gang; – thi lang tid senere fik

jeg beskjed fra assurance-selskabet, at min police var

egentlig traadt ud af kraft, men at jeg endnù kùnde

faa anledning at ordne den (af naade). Det maatte have vært

nogen helt andre telegrammer Korsvold sendte; – thi jeg fik

sagen ùndersögt, og Korsvold havde intet betalt og maatte

indrömme for selskabet, at han havde lovet at betale

den, "men havde været paa reise". I den den lange

                                    III

mellemtid, havde jeg havt penge, som jeg kùnde brugt til

at ordne policen med, naar jeg kùn havde vidst at policen

ikke var ordnet, – imidlertid anvendte jeg den paa andre

gjældsposter, og maatte da ^nù ty til min fattige ven skolelæreren

og laane for at faa ordnet policen i hui og hast. Jeg skrev

til ham ^Korsvold straks efter, at han var reist herfra for at være sik-

ker paa at det var ordnet, men fik intet svar, ligesom jeg

endnù intet har hört fra ham, – han er nok fornærmet

paa mig, fordi jeg til slùt lod assùrance selskabet ùndersöge

sagen, – jeg var jo nödt at gjöre det; thi jeg kunde jo ikke

vide, om ikke det kunde gaa slig, at vi betalte policen

dobbelt – altsaa baade han og jeg, – og det hastede jo sterkt.

Men lad endelig dette være mellem os! Korsvold er en

snild mand, men jeg har tabt lidt i mine venskabelige

fölelser for ham og lidt i respekten for han litherære ting

ogsaa, siden hans artikkel om Tranaas: – at skamrose

manden slig er jo vel samvittighedslöst overfor kùnsten.

Jeg synes Tranaas er begavet – og kan mere end nogen bluffe,

men han har endnù ikke magtet at skabe noget af betydning,

jeg tror dog han kan komme til at gjöre noget engang, – men han

er svært lös i fisken trods sin akademiske uddannelse. –

Nù ja, der var saa meget, jeg skulde skrevet om, men

posten gaar snart, – mine fingre er stive af tùngt arbeide

med gaarden nù i denne travle vaartid, – saa jeg faar slùtte

för skriften blir ulæselig – De kan tro jeg gik i stor ùro

og nervösitet et par dage, förend jeg fik rede paa sammen-

hængen med billedet. Jeg var reist ind til Myklebùst for

at faa sendt træsnittene ^til galleriet i en hast – jeg var ùnder

haardt press af en kreditor, – og havde saavidt faaet dem

i posten, som stod og ventede paa mig med utaalmodighed

                                     IIII

og da posten var reist kommer maleren Nik. Berg og har

været oppe hos mig, hvor Engel nettop havde faaet

avisen fra Dem. Engel sendte, da hùn fik avisen, straks

beskjed om det til mig med Berg og Berg gratùlerede mig

med et billede i Bergens Billedgalleri – jeg blev rent ilde

tilmode; – thi jeg vidste ikke da, at avisen var fra Dem.

Berg troede nok, at avisen var afsendt fra Hop, men

Engel havde ikke sagt det, – jeg troede og frygtede at

det var et helt andet billede "Vaarnat", som jeg nù

i min nöd var nödt at sælge til en tandlæge i Bergen 

for billig pris for at klare en gammel gjældspost, – dette

billede – som jeg nylig havde sendt – spökte nù stygt i

min hjerne, og jeg fandt ùd alle de slette sider ved billedet,

og at jeg ùmùlig kunde lade det gaa med at lade mig være

repræsenteret i galleriet med det billede, – jeg belavede mig

paa en protest til galleriet, – og skyndte mig i hast med at

rable ned nogle linjer til Dem og Kaland for at faa greie

paa sammenhængen, og fik brevene sendt over til nordre

siden af vandet, hvor posten gaar hurtigere. Da jeg tre dage

senere fik 300 kr. fra Dem forstod jeg sammenhængen

og lettnede om hjærtet.

Ja undskyld dette rabl. Jeg skriver senere mere –

haaber inderlig at Dere maa klare alle vanskeligheder

Kan De ikke komme hid en tùr i sommer, – naar

De reiser til Kristiania, kan det vel blive vanskeligt

senere at besöge os, – det vilde være saa hyggeligt om

De kom hid engang.

Med de bedste hilsener til Dem og Inger

fra Engel og Deres hengivne

Astrup

Dear Höst and Mrs.!

Many thanks for Your letter and for the money! It pleases me,

that Your picture could be of some financial

benefit to You during these times – but it pains me 

to hear, that You will have to part with several

more of Your artworks – likewise, that You will

be leaving West Norway. Allow me to say at once,

that Your offer to purchase a picture from me later

on for 1500 Kr., – I thank you very much for, – but I shall,

as soon as I can create real art again – (I

am not yet clear-headed, when it comes to art) – and then I

will be able to obtain for You a picture of the

same size in return for the 300 Kr., which You sent now – I 

think it is disgraceful to accept this money now, when You

are in difficult financial circumstances, – but I am

also presently in such circumstances and was under great

pressure when I sent the woodcuts to the gallery, – these debts

truly darken one’s spirit – it doesn’t matter, how much

one stuffs into the gaps, – new claims are always just around the corner

I therefore accept the 300 as a loan, until I can produce 

a picture for You in return. It is these life insurance pre-

miums, that increase the burden most, – it was perhaps 

foolish of me to insure myself, when I must pay

far more than others in extra premiums – (because

of poor lungs and "insurance for dependents"), – for it may

well happen that I will have to let all the payments expire,

and then I will lose all that I have put into it, – it nearly

ended badly with one of the policies this past spring, and it

II

was Korsvold’s fault – but let this remain between us, –

he came to visit me, when I had just made the first two

prints of "June night and marigolds", – I said that I was going

to send these two prints to You, so that You might choose one – I

owed You so much, that I should have done so –

but meanwhile Korsvold protested, and said that I should

rather sort out one of my many financial obligations,

– which he knew that I had to merchants in Bergen, –

I happened to mention, that I had an overdue life

insurance policy, that weighed more heavily on me, – and Korsvold

offered to resolve it for me, and in exchange he could 

choose 2 of my woodcuts, – he selected the grey [version] of "June-

night and marigolds", which was originally intended for You, – I

thought You would prefer it to the others. Korsvold wished to telegraph

his business in Bergen to sort out the policy and I also allowed him to

borrow my horse and farmhand, who rode to the telegraph station

with two telegrams from Korsvold; – I thus thought the 

matter was settled, – I had no scruples  

about letting the man pay this for me; for he received full

value for his money, – in addition he owed me

twice the amount from before, – from a time he was supposed to pay some

debts for me in Bergen, and paid his own instead. Well that’s

how it ended this time as well; – because much later I was

told by the insurance company, that my policy had

actually defaulted, but that I might still

be able to sort it out (by their good graces). It must have been

two quite different telegrams Korsvold had sent; – for I had

the matter investigated, and Korsvold had not paid and was forced

to admit to the company, that he had promised to pay

it, "but that he had been travelling". During the long

                                    III

interim, I had had money, which I could have used to

sort out the policy with, if only I had known that the policy

had not been paid, – in the meantime I used it on other

debts, and was ^now forced to resort to my impoverished friend the schoolteacher

and borrow in order to sort out the policy in a hurry. I wrote

to him ^Korsvold immediately after he had left here in order to en-

sure that it was in order, but received no response, just as I

have yet to hear from him, – he is probably offended

by me, since I finally had to ask the insurance company to investigate

the matter, – I was forced to do it; because I couldn’t 

be sure, whether we might risk, that we paid the policy

twice – that is both he and I, – and it was urgent.

But please let this remain between us! Korsvold is a

kind man, but I have lost a bit of my amicable

feelings for him and a little respect for his literary things

as well, since his article on Tranaas: – to sing the praises

of the man like this is a travesty towards art.

I think Tranaas is gifted – and can bluff better than anyone,

but he has not yet managed to create anything of significance,

and yet I think he might come to do so some day, – but he 

is very lackadaisical despite his academic education. –

Well, there is so much, that I should have written about, but 

the mail leaves soon, – my fingers are stiff from heavy work

on the farm now during this busy spring season, – so I should stop

before my writing becomes illegible – You can imagine I was in a great

state of agitation for a few days, until I found out

the circumstances regarding the picture. I had gone to Myklebùst to 

send the woodcuts ^to the gallery in all haste – I was under

great pressure from a creditor, – and had barely managed to deliver them 

to the postman, who stood waiting for me impatiently

                                     IIII

and when the postman had left the painter Nik. Berg arrived and has

been up here with me, where Engel had just received

the newspaper from You. Engel, when she received the newspaper, immediately sent 

word of it to me via Berg and Berg congratulated me

on having a picture in Bergens Billedgalleri – I became utterly

dismayed; – for I did not know then, that the newspaper was from You.

Berg probably thought, that the newspaper was sent from Hop, but

Engel had not said that, – I thought and feared that

it was a totally different picture "Spring night", which I now

in desperation was obliged to sell to a dentist in Bergen 

for a cheap sum in order to take care of an old debt, – this

picture – which I had recently sent off – haunted me terribly in

my mind’s eye, and I discovered all of the poor features of the picture,

and I could not possibly agree to allow myself to be

represented in the gallery with that picture, – I prepared

to protest to the gallery, – and made great haste in 

scribbling down a few lines to You and Kaland in order to find

out what had happened, and had the letters sent over to the north

side of the lake, where the mail is faster. When I three days

later received 300 kr. from You I understood the connection

and a weight fell from my shoulders.

Well excuse this rambling. I will write more later –

Sincerely hope that You can cope with all the difficulties

Why don’t You make a trip here this summer, – once

You move to Kristiania [Oslo], it might become more difficult

to visit us, – it would be so nice if

You came to visit some time.

With very best wishes to You and Inger

from Engel and Your devoted

Astrup